Invites

I'm doing the printing of our invites myself, but R and I took TOTAL advantage of the 20% off sale Cards and Pockets was having and bought the pocketfolds and mats for our invitations. According to the tracking, the box arrived on our doorstep today. I can NOT wait to go home and rip that baby open!

For those of you who want to TOTALLY stalk our wedding process, I am working on a website that tracks our projects. 

http://trippingdowntheaisle.weebly.com/

Stop by!

The Learning Process....

R has been INCREDIBLY involved and willing to help out in every way with the wedding plans and design. It's been fun to do things together, especially since we are doing a lot of the work ourselves. His first project was to make a SIMPLE photo card box for the gift table for people to put cards in, like the one below (from the road to the aisle DIY website). I had seen these around and loved the idea so I asked him to make it.

His response: Can I make it light up? Or maybe even motorize it so it turns.

Sigh. Men.

Ok so.....

I'm not TECHNICALLY engaged, but the commitment has been made to eachother , he's just waiting for "the moment" to surprise me with the ring....and we've set a date and the wedding planning has begun. Which means...this is probably going to turn into the wedding planning/venting blog. 

So far we have set the date (11/12/11), bought a cake topper, a monogram stamp and have narrowed down our church and reception choices to 2! I'll be posting my DIY projects and my ups and downs along the way so stay tuned if that is your sort of thing. If it's not then check back in a year when it will all be over!

Scare

I have never been so happy to be on solid ground as I was last night. Upon approaching the runway to land, our plane was struck by lightning and we had major turbulence and the cabin filled with a strange smell. We circled around the airport a few times so the "controls could re-set" and we finally landed safely. They closed the tarmac after that and we were unable to get our checked bags for awhile, but we didn't care AT ALL, we were just happy to be safe! Don't be annoyed at weather delays. They are SO for your own safety!

Off...

I am off to Chicago this week for my sister's wedding! It's a mix of emotions..uncertainty at her choice/young age, impatience for my own impending engagement (we've ring shopped, we talk details, we talk date...but WHERE IS MY RING ALREADY??!), being able to see my family, and stress at the travel and obligation of it all.  THANKFULLY Weight Watchers (and spanx) helped me lose those extra pounds I had gained since my dress fitting and the dress fit perfectly today when I picked it up. 

Wish me luck!!!! 

Goals

I've gained some major weight this year. Some of it is attributed to living with a boy with a mega-metabolism, some of it is from being sick most of January and February and some of it just plain laziness. It's time to grab the scale with both hands and get it together. I don't have a clear plan yet. I've been doing weight watchers for a few weeks and like it, but haven't had consistent results so it's hard to tell if its working. I've not been working out at all, but am slowly starting to schedule it into my days. I know keeping the motivation is my #1 problem, so I'm on the lookout for things that keep my goal fresh in my mind. If you have any tricks PLEASE do share!

My goal is to lose 46 pounds by November of next year. Ready. Set. GO!

Bad Blogger

I keep meaning to blog, but yet I don't! I want to keep up, but I just haven't been able to! My new years...ok well My September resolution is to be a better blogger!

Let's see...while I was gone, I changed jobs (lateral move, same job, working for an old boss at a new company a block away from where I am now...same distance to Starbucks....same salary), re-joined Netflix and am making my way through more Lost and some Weeds along with some movies, been cooking a lot, organizing boxes of my childhood stuff my dad brought on his visit....trying to lose weight so I will fit into my bridesmaid dress in a few weeks...and that's pretty much it! A friend did get me hooked on the Hunger Games series of books and I'm in the midst of #2. Anyone else read it?

Cakes and Lost

I have NO idea why it took me so long to get on the Lost bandwagon, but I am SO loving this show. I recently discovered that all the episodes are on Hulu and am up to season 3 so far. It confuses me and sometimes is frustrating, but I am HOOKED!

The Boy's mom's birthday is this weekend and I told him I would make a cake for her. I chose a complicated Tiramisu recipe, and it was somewhat labor intensive, but it turned out SO pretty. We haven't tasted it yet, but if it tastes as good as it smelled, someone is going to have to hold me back from eating the entire thing!

Heading out for my first solo road trip in my new car. I am heading upstate to visit my cousin.

Speaking of getting on old bandwagons, I just started reading The Help. I am LOVING it! Anyone reading anything good these days?

What's been going on...

The Boy and I have settled into a nice pattern of living together and have worked out most of our kinks. Our inherent differences in social nature will always be present, but we are learning to find a balance.

 

My photo business has slowed lately and I have desperately been trying to drum up new clients. I had a GREAT lead on a new client and they confirmed with me that I had the job, but then they disappeared and I haven't heard from them, so I'm kind of bummed. My day job has been presenting me with some...challenges (i.e., subpoenas, drama and other unbloggable things) and I am looking to exit by the end of the year if possible.

 

Med weaning has been....interesting. Lowering my dose made the anxiety come back more than I was comfortable with, but not on a daily basis, only in certain situations, so we are trying something new. I have a "situational" med that I take when I feel an attack coming on and we will continue weaning VERY slowly off the daily med. It's a good compromise I think so fingers crossed it works out for me.

 

Not much else to report really. Have been cooking a lot this summer and just adjusting to life with Boy. I kind of feel like summer flew by and I didn't have enough time to enjoy it, so I am hoping to spend these next few weekends just relaxing with no obligations. Wish me luck!

Disconnect

The Boy and I have been officially living together for a month now. The moving, integrating our stuff together and finding of a new routine all went seamlessly, but we seem to have now hit our first hiccup.

We are struggling right now with the balance of together time/alone time/time individually with friends/time together with friends etc. He would be perfectly happy if we just spent every minute together and never went anywhere without the other. I, on the other hand, like my time to wander the grocery store aisles aimlessly, sit and read in a Starbucks or to take a walk along the waterfront alone with my thoughts. We've had good conversations about our differences, but there never seems to be any resolution. As an only child of a single parent, he hated being alone all the time and would rather be surrounded by people at all times. My needs are different and finding the balance has been difficult. Our conversations are good, we communicate SO WELL and there is never any arguing or yelling, it's just a deep conversation, but at the end I can't help but feel disconnected from him a bit. I know that I need to just have faith that the balance will find itself. The nature of having 2 different jobs and sets of friends will mean that alone time will be had, and our date night tradition will continue so together time will also be had, but for now there is a fear that exists for me. A fear of what I am not exactly sure....we have both acknowledged that this difference is in NO way a dealbreaker and we are both still  100% committed to eachother so I don't think it is a fear of him leaving me...a fear of making him (or myself) unhappy? an unrealistic expectation of relationship perfection? I wish I could figure it out so I could get rid of this feeling. For now I am holding on to the fact that we are communicating openly and respectfully about the issue and knowing that a man who leaves a smiley face spelled out in m&ms and a gin & tonic with freshly squeezed lime on the kitchen table for me to find while he is out running errands is someone who clearly loves me and isn't going anywhere.

Weekend Roundup

Took my new car to the old apartment on Saturday in order to clean some things out and finally take the donate pile in to Goodwill. I have to have it cleaned and emptied by the end of this month. I'm already 100% moved to NJ, but it will be strange not to have that apt anymore!

Sunday was "date afternoon/night" for the Boy and I. We have realized that if we spend time together just doing house stuff or watching TV we both feel less connected to eachother so we make a point to have a date once a week or so. Sunday I made a bunch of finger food/type dishes, he made Gin & Tonics and we watched Avatar and munched on our treats. Afterwards we went out and took a sunset walk along the waterfront. Definitely one of my favorite date night's we've had.

Have settled into a good routine thus far aside from the weight loss/workout front. I still do my Wii, but only a few days a week and i"m hoping to kick that up a bit and REALLY get it in the schedule on a regular basis. I also really liked the waterfront path we walked along last night so I may try to do a weekly walk there as well just to mix it up sometimes.

Tonight I am making a foray into the world of pork and attempting a brine. I don't eat meat except for chicken, but the poor Boy I live with is getting a little bored so I am trying to mix it up a bit. I made an apple/maple brine last night and have it in the fridge marinating...Wish me luck with Ms. Piggy! lol

My Life

I've been looking around my life lately and wondering how in the heck I got here?

A little over a year I was plagued with anxiety problems, in therapy, living alone in a no frills NYC apartment spending WAY too much time with my Tivo and working crazy hours.

Now I live with a boyfriend who I couldn't love more and am heading toward marriage in a lovely New Jersey house with all the amenities, own my own car and work regular hours and sometimes even get to leave EARLY.

I wish I had kept more faith back then that things would be different. It's a stark reminder to me that "It won't always be like this, so enjoy the good times and know the bad ones won't be forever".

What on EARTH will another year bring??? I'm afraid to ask.

Holy Cats and Dogs.....

I BOUGHT A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As of Tuesday, I am the owner of a gorgeous 2010 Volkswagon Tiquan Wolfsberg Edition!!!!

Weekend Roundup

Friday night we had a little gathering for The Boy's friends who hadn't yet seen the transformation of the house from bachelor pad to "home where a girl lives". They all loved the place and we sat in the yard for hours drinking, eating pizza (that we grilled which you MUST TRY because it's amazingly yummy) and chatting. I must admit I spent most of my time playing with the 2 year old son of one of our guests. I feel bad I didn't engage with more of The Boy's friends, but I'm not one for parties really and I had more fun with the kids.

The next morning I woke up and The Boy had cleaned up the entire house and yard and it looked like we hadn't had a party the previous day AT ALL. The house was spotless! Seriously, what guy does THAT???

I picked up my dress for my sister's wedding in October and tried it on. It's a tad snug, but hopefully by October I can drop a few pounds. I've been keeping up quite well with my Wii these days so I'm not too worried.

Yesterday we just hung around the house and did chores. I did sneak some good reading time out in the sun though to get my Vitamin D fix. I LOVE love having a yard again. I also did some cooking, made dinner in the crockpot which turned out just ok and made a super yummy chocolate lava cake, but the "lava" part is COFFEE. Seriously YUM.

Now it's back to work. Why WHY do weekends go so fast??

Wheels

Now that I have officially moved to New Jersey, I find myself in need (ok maybe not NEED, but a deep want) for my own set of wheels. The Boy has some limited edition, irreplaceable fancy stick shift car so I can't/won't drive his and in order to keep myself sane and my relationship in tact, I think it will be good for me to have the freedom that comes with having a car. Though our house is conveniently located near the train to NYC, it isn't close to any stores or even Starbucks, so there isn't really anywhere I can go by myself (except work!).

Unfortunately my debt, though by no means out of control, is higher than I am comfortable with, so while saving for my car, I would also like to pay it off as well. I tentatively laid out a budget plan for myself and it looks like by the end of September I can be debt free and have my downpayment. Though 3 months seems a long time to wait, I don't want to make this purchase with debt looming over my head, so I am going to force myself to be responsible about it.

Being a grownup is hard!

The End Is Near

Moving Day is finally approaching. Or rather "I threw a fit and told The Boy that I was tired of living in two different states and I wasn't going to do it anymore so he had to pick a day and rent a truck to get the rest of my stuff or else I was moving all my stuff in Jersey back to New York" day is approaching. Friday is the Big Day and I'm excited to finally have all of my underwear in one house!

Hopefully after that I will be able to get back on some sort of schedule and start working out again....I stepped on the scale recently and had a "Did the DOG step on the scale with me, because that number can NOT correspond to the weight of just ME" moment.

Moving burns calories..right?

Jury Duty

My service is officially over! I got selected for interviewing for a potentially long medical malpractice case, but thankfully the case got settled or dropped or something and we all got to go home! All in all I got paid for 2 days of reading my Nook. I certainly can't complain about that!

Some More Fun

I got called for jury duty, reporting on Monday.

Oh the good times just keep coming!

I did it...and then freaked out about it.

I put on my big girl pants last night and told my mom that I am moving in with The Boy.

And then promptly had a panic attack on the train going home and The Boy had to come get me.

She took it better than I thought actually. I definitely got the "I'm disappointed in you" lecture, but I think she realizes that I'm in my 30s now and there isn't much she can do about it. I think her fear partly is that she doesn't want us to get stuck in the living together phase and then not move forward with getting married, but I made certain to drive home the point that we were going to do things on our own timeframe and for what works for us. At least she never threw out the phrase "living in sin" to me.

I see that as progress.

Update

The trip home with The Boy to meet my parents went well. They really liked him and he seemed to enjoy himself and hearing stories about me and seeing my old pictures and stuff. We didn't end up telling my parents were are moving in together yet, but I hope to in the next few weeks.

I am feeling much better from last week's mini-flip out. A friend recommended the book called The Concious Bride to me which I checked out. Even though I'm not technically engaged yet, she thought I was having similar relationship anxieties about all the changes in my life right now and its comforting to know it's 100% normal to have adjustment woes!

Starting tonight I am beginning the SLOW process of weaning off my daily anxiety meds. I'm a tad nervous but ready to attempt life without them. Fingers crossed!