I forgot to charge my iPod last night, so I was forced to plug my headphones into the gym tv/audio system. The person before me had left the TV turned to the in-house music video station, so I decided to give it a shot. It was an interesting mix of old school 80's videos, some new stuff (actually quite a bit of stuff from the record label I work at as well) and in terms of genre was completely across the board, rock, metal, alternative, pop, rap, definitely a good work-out mix. I was trotting along just fine until a rap song by the Artist Fabolus (I think) came on. The video and lyrics to this song nearly knocked me off the treadmill. Basically the song is about a man who is cheating on his wife with another woman. He's praising the "other woman" for being so cool, and not hounding him to spend more time with her or to leave his wife. "you know my situation and sometimes I know you get impatient, but you don't put on shows to get ovations", "You aint ever step out of line, Or get out a pocket, So i made sure canary sent out your locket". I was appalled at this video and the lyrics. Is this really the message people feel is appropriate to send to our children. Boys see this and think it's cool to have extramarital affairs. Girls are taught that status as "the other woman" is not only acceptable, but acceptance of the position is rewarded. It's ludicrous. I hate this society we live in at times.

"Cause the entre ain't as good without something on the side ya' know."

I got tagged..

I got tagged (whatever that means...I'm still newish to all this) and apparently I'm supposed to list 6 weird things about me. Anyone who has read my blog knows WAY more than 6 weird things about me already, but alas, I'm doing as I'm told.

1. I won't eat red meat, fish or pork, but I have a secret love of salami, and sometimes indulge.

2. I'm terrified of the post office. I buy my stamps online and send everything I can either FedEx or UPS. I will NOT go into the post office.

3. When I cook (stop laughing), I do the dishes BEFORE I eat. The kitchen must be clean before I'll sit down to eat my food.

4. I absolutely love doing laundry and ironing. Its very cathartic for me.

5. I own hundreds of books, yet I refuse to put them in any order. I like the hunt when I'm looking for something specific.

6. I'm a photographer, yet I absolutely can not stand to have my own photo taken. I loathe the thought of someone having a photograph of me in their posession.

A true nightmare.....

I rarely dream, or at least I rarely remember my dreams, but last night I dreamt I was in love. I've never had a dream like this before. I don't know how I knew I was, or even who he was, but when I woke up I knew I had just dreamt love. I'm not someone who believes that dreams mean anything, but this one really shook me up for some reason. I've never dreamt an emotion before...it's a very powerful thing.

Everyone is out at meetings on Thursdays, hence the excessive blogging.

In my infinite boredom, I've been blog browsing on blogger.com...it's an exercise in humanity and I like being reminded that there are other people out there with the same crazy thoughts and habits as I have.

One of the things that came up in something I was reading was the concept of a "love language". It was a definite "light bulb moment" for me as Dr. Phil says. We all absorb things differently. I consider myself a romantic, I respond best to actions of love, while some people respond better to verbal expressions of love, or physical expressions of love. We get upset when people question our feelings, yet we don't acknowledge that everyone has a different heart and a different way of not only expressing it, but also of believing. I say that nobody has ever loved me, and yet I can't help but wonder if perhaps they did, I just didn't see it.

Oh the memories......for you Caryn....

I was chatting online with a co-worker this morning and the subject of college antics came up.....Now by no means am I wild....for me the typical weekend includes scrubbing the bathtub and watching old episodes of the West Wing on DVD in my pjs, but like most people, I've done some stupid things in my life. Unfortunately (or fortunately I suppose) one of my roommates in college, was into photography and captured many of my moments, so for all eternity I can be reminded of my stupidity. Normally I'm terrified to have my picture taken. I absolutely loath being in front of the camera and always volunteer to take group photos when I can, but during my college years I didn't care, or didn't notice and I have a wonderful photo album filled with memories. (One that I will hopefully never have to share with anyone, ever). I happened to flip through it last night and couldn't help but laugh at my favorites.....Deciding it was going to be a fantastic idea to sled down the stairs of my apartment on my hardcover sketch book (great idea until I hit the wall at the landing where the stairs turn).....Staying up for 3 days straight drafting and being so irritated by the large tree-like weed growing out side the window next to my drafting table that I did some 3am pruning....with a butcher knife.....trying to solder my circuits project after 2 days of no sleep and burning my fingers to a crisp.....and of course my favorite....taking my roommates desk apart using only a hammer in order to get a stuck drawer to open....Various roommates took part in their own antics as well. Mike who once tried to scare me by putting a paper bag over his head and charging at me with the Dustbuster (which didn't work but I have a fantastic photo of him trying)...Adam who once set the kitchen on fire, to which his only course of action was to say "whoa"....Andy who once forgot to remove the wrapping from a frozen pizza and put it in the oven.....and Erin who dressed her boyfriend up in my high school homecoming dress and took him to a party. Not to mention there is still the issue of the missing colander...which I'm pretty sure can be found at Curt's house...but I've since replaced it and am trying to let that one go...It's ok...we got them even in one of the best snowball fights in the history of winter....

I miss those days. I definitely don't have as much fun as I did back then. I miss being surrounded by creativity and artistic-minded people. I don't know if I appreciated it back then...but I definitely miss it now.....

Thanks for the trip down memory lane....

So....I was thinking...

That it probably isn't normal to be cleaning the stove at 3am....but yet, that was exactly what I was doing....the street outside my window was quiet...no noises from the elephants upstairs, just me, my bottle of 409 and a scrub brush.....

Ok...it's official. I'm weird.

First, Last, Next

FIRSTS:

1. First kiss: Age 16, Patrick someone in the high school band room...LOL
2. First love: Still waiting
3. First heartbreak: My high school bf Scott...he cheated on me
4. First car: Blue Mercery Tracer
5. First pet: Moon my one-eyed dog
6. First word: Doggie
7. First concert: Emerson String Quartet....
8. First sexual partner: C at the age of 20
9. First alcoholic beverage: A wine cooler
10. First time you stayed out all night: High school....I liked an older guy and wanted to show him I was grown up...LOL
11. First best friend: Kylene in grade school, Aaron in high school
12. First job: Stagehand
13. First school: Wow..no clue....
12. First movie you watched in a theater: Bambi with my mom
13. First thing you really saved up money for: A drafting table LOL
14. First run in with the Law: Speeding....didn't get a ticket though.
15. First date: Still waiting LOL...hmm probably Scott in high school...movies or something

--------------------------------------------------------

LASTS:

1. Last kiss: No comment, but he was HOT!
2. Last person you hugged: A co-worker I think after a bad day.
3. Last person you spoke to: My boss's wife.
4. Last alcoholic beverage: Wine last weekend
5. Last sexual partner: No comment, see #1.
6. Last movie: Rush Hour! It was on TV last weekend.
7. Last person you thought of: See #1 and 5 LOL
8. Last school you went to: University of Illinois
9. Last person you said " I love you" to: Nobody
10. Last run in with the Law: Car accident a few years ago..
11. Last fight you were in: Verbal? a few nights ago, physical - back in college.
12. Last bar/club/concert/party you went to: Cipriani Wall Street
13. Last person you e-mailed: Grace
14. Last thing you ate: Rice and peas
15. Last thing you saved up money for: Car
-------------------------------------------------------

NEXT

1. Next person you want to kiss: The last person I kissed.
2. Next movie you want to see: In her Shoes
3. Next person you want to go out with: CH
4. Next car you want to have: Ford Escape Hybrid
5. Next time you're going out: Monday night I think
6. Next time you're going to move: In 2 years or so back to IL.
7. Next thing you are going to save money for: Car
8. Next time that you will drink alcohol: No idea.
9. Next person you are going to call: Grace probably
10. Next place you'll take vacation: London
11. Next thing you are going to do after filling this survey out: Go back to work.
12. Next thing you are going to eat: No clue...
13. Next time you plan to be drunk: My birthday
14. Next thing you are going to do outside: Walk to the subway to go home.
15. Next person you'd like to see fill this out: Caryn

I'm a single gal....

I'm a single NYC gal, good job, supports herself, buy books like most women buy clothes, drug free and have no more than the normal amount of insanity that ones has to posess to live in NY, so why on earth is it THIS hard to find a date in this city (or any city for that matter). Could it really be that I have dated ALL the eligible Asian men already? According to yahoo personals, eharmony and match.com, I have. Upon filling out the sometimes extensive profiles required for registration, I'm constantly matched with the SAME guy (Andrew)...who has already had the experience of dumping me and is probably not all that eager to repeat it. Aside from wanting an Asian man, I am extremely open minded about the type of man I want to meet. I'm not even really looking to "date" whatever that means to the kids these days, I'm looking for someone to have a cup of coffee with over the Sunday Times, someone to walk through Central Park with on a sunny Saturday afternoon....grab an ocassional drink with after a hard day at work...Can I really be at the absolute bottom of the NYC dating pool? At this point I'm not even IN the pool, I'm in the locker room stuck trying to figure out if I have my suit on backwards or not....

I'm tired. Not the kind of tired that goes away after a 20 minute nap, not the kind of tired where you'll catch up after a good night's rest, but the kind of completely exhaustion that only goes away with a good close the drapes, turn the phones off 15 hour hibernation kind of sleep. Let's hope coffee can stave this off until the weekend....

Opened the new car/moving savings account today. A friend suggested that I have a separate (non ATM linked) account and I found one with no minimum and a decent interest rate, so I went for it. I need to be better in general about saving and this is definitely a great way to start. I've also GOT to replace the camera that got stolen. I definitely want that before my trip to London this summer.

Here officially begins my stint in frugality!!!!

The new bookcases arrived! Even though I had to spend my entire weekend attempting to assemble them by myself (a task that with help would have two hours tops) it was well worth it. I have empty shelf space again! Hurrah!

Off to browse amazon.com...it's a vicious vicious circle...

I'm tired of being the pool you are dangling your feet in. Either jump in or leave.