Friday, July 31, 2009

Meal Plan

I'm not sure I know what days I'm making what yet, but here is what is on the menu for the Kai household (which is just me, but let me pretend I'm not a lonely spinster ok?!)

Breakfasts: Antique Mommy's Cobbler and Monkey bread or what I call Monkey Bread, but the recipe calls it holiday bread and cold brewed coffee that is  my new obsession
Lunches and Dinners: Italian Pasta Salad with veggies, Baked Pasta with Chicken Sausage and home made pizza hot pockets that are currently taking over my freezer.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Meal Planning is BACK

I'm back to my meal plan regime! I've been researching recipes all day and am excited about trying to get back into the kitchen!

Tuesday: Lunch: Leftover CPK from a work lunch yesterday, dinner: lime chicken and mustard potatoes (both new recipes I'm trying out, I'll post the recipes if they turn out well!) EDIT: I tried them both and YUM! You must must must try the lime was GREAT. Though I wouldn't make the mustard potatoes along side this particular chicken recipe again, I would absolutely make them again in the fall as a side to turkey meatloaf or something. Both are going into my recipe file,

Wednesday: lunch: leftover lime chicken, dinner: quesadillas

Thursday: lunch: chicken parm lean cuisine, dinner: turkey burger with leftover potatoes (if there are any!)

Friday: lunch: homemade pizza hot pocket, dinner: quesadillas

Monday, July 27, 2009

Therapy Update

Still plugging along. I was on a 6 week hiatus while she was away, but we are back to it now.

Now that the day to day anxiety is at a manageable level, we are starting in on some other issues I have, but I've sort of hit a wall because I have problems discussing certain things with her. She is a 50 something am I supposed to discuss dating/sex etc. with her! I made a Cosmo reference the other day and she just looked at me blankly. I would REALLY love to resolve some of my issues with men, but I'm not sure I can talk to her about these things.

It's like talking to my Aunt or do I get over this and open up?!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Crossing another country off my list....

I have just booked my tickets for my next big ex-US trip.....and the winner is.....


I'll be hitting Spain in late October!!!! I can't wait!

Next up: St. Louis in a few weeks.

Monday, July 20, 2009

My Spa trial

I do not like Spas.....I'm not a huge fan of strangers touching me....I don't like being semi-nude in the presence of others.....I hate any and all attention focused on me. I am so NOT a spa girl.

Lately I've needed to tame my eyebrows and I have an easy week at work since all the execs are out of the office, so I decided on a whim to try a Spa around the corner for work to get a quick eye brow wax at lunch.

I LOVED it. 30 minutes of being totally transported into a serene environment in the middle of a work day was SO worth having someone pour hot wax on my face and them rip it off.

If that's not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is.

Friday, July 17, 2009

A step back

I ended up telling Traveler Guy I needed a few days to step back and regroup and that if was still interested in hanging out when he gets back from his trip this weekend to give me a call. I feel good about how I left it and hopefully I can sort my feelings out a bit in the meantime and get myself back into a healthier mindframe.

In other news:

I have another mouse (who I have now named Beatrice) . We've been cohabitating for a few weeks now (meaning I stay out of all areas I see her in) until she woke me at 4:30am a few nights ago by scratching on something near the floor by my BED. I turned the light on and managed to scare her into walking into one of those glue traps. I put a box over her and called my friend to help me extricate her. Unfortunately in the extrication process she managed to get loose again, so I'm back at square 1. Sigh. I need her OUT and I fear now there is no way I'll ever catch her. Right now I have her (I think) shut in my bedroom, so I'm camping on my couch. I MISS MY BED!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Maybe writing it will help me get over it.....

I had my second date with Traveler Guy last Friday. Started out rough, he was 45 minutes late, but it was due to train issues, so I let it slide because he was so apologetic. We had a good time over wine and dessert at this wine and chocolate bar I've been wanting to check out and then sat in a nearby park talking and kissing. A near perfect date.


He commented he would walk me to the train, which I thought meant he was going to leave me at the station, but by the time I realized he had meant he was walking me HOME, I panicked and got too embarrassed/felt too guilty he was going out of his way to say no. I was so completely oblivious to his intentions. I should have known better and been able to say no, but I wasn't. I let him come home with me and ended up hooking up with him.

This is an ALL TOO COMMON pattern with me. I've done this countless times in the past. I'm afraid of turning a guy off or making him mad he came all the way only to deny him that I go against my better judgement and just give in to what THEY want. I ignore what I want and what feels right for me out of fear of rejecting the all to rare positive male attention I receive.
I know I should talk about this with my therapist, but I'm still in the "too embarrassed to admit I'm promiscuous/making bad choices etc." phase of therapy.

Ugh. I hate that feeling of going against myself. I even asked him if he wants to hang out tomorrow and he said he would. Stupid Stupid Stupid.

I'm 30. When will I ever learn?

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The 4th!

I'm back from a  brief trip to Illinois for the 4th. It was great spending time with my parents and sister. The actual 4th was cold and rainy, but the fireworks display was amazing. We spent a lot of time hanging out, playing cards, going to the pool, playing Wii....stuff we never did when we all lived at home and growing up. Maybe it was our ages (my sister and I are 8 years apart) or just day to day life got in the way, but it makes me a bit sad that this wasn't the childhood I had. All in all it was a good trip though and it makes me realize I should spend more time with my family now.

On Sunday I had a photoshoot. I've been wanting publicity photos for my retouching business so I had my very talented photographer friend, Caryn take some. We went to this abandoned windmill factory and had a blast. I'll post some of the outtakes once I touch them up a bit.

Have my second date with Traveler Guy on Friday. Wish me luck!