Thursday, July 15, 2010


The Boy and I have been officially living together for a month now. The moving, integrating our stuff together and finding of a new routine all went seamlessly, but we seem to have now hit our first hiccup.

We are struggling right now with the balance of together time/alone time/time individually with friends/time together with friends etc. He would be perfectly happy if we just spent every minute together and never went anywhere without the other. I, on the other hand, like my time to wander the grocery store aisles aimlessly, sit and read in a Starbucks or to take a walk along the waterfront alone with my thoughts. We've had good conversations about our differences, but there never seems to be any resolution. As an only child of a single parent, he hated being alone all the time and would rather be surrounded by people at all times. My needs are different and finding the balance has been difficult. Our conversations are good, we communicate SO WELL and there is never any arguing or yelling, it's just a deep conversation, but at the end I can't help but feel disconnected from him a bit. I know that I need to just have faith that the balance will find itself. The nature of having 2 different jobs and sets of friends will mean that alone time will be had, and our date night tradition will continue so together time will also be had, but for now there is a fear that exists for me. A fear of what I am not exactly sure....we have both acknowledged that this difference is in NO way a dealbreaker and we are both still  100% committed to eachother so I don't think it is a fear of him leaving me...a fear of making him (or myself) unhappy? an unrealistic expectation of relationship perfection? I wish I could figure it out so I could get rid of this feeling. For now I am holding on to the fact that we are communicating openly and respectfully about the issue and knowing that a man who leaves a smiley face spelled out in m&ms and a gin & tonic with freshly squeezed lime on the kitchen table for me to find while he is out running errands is someone who clearly loves me and isn't going anywhere.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Weekend Roundup

Took my new car to the old apartment on Saturday in order to clean some things out and finally take the donate pile in to Goodwill. I have to have it cleaned and emptied by the end of this month. I'm already 100% moved to NJ, but it will be strange not to have that apt anymore!

Sunday was "date afternoon/night" for the Boy and I. We have realized that if we spend time together just doing house stuff or watching TV we both feel less connected to eachother so we make a point to have a date once a week or so. Sunday I made a bunch of finger food/type dishes, he made Gin & Tonics and we watched Avatar and munched on our treats. Afterwards we went out and took a sunset walk along the waterfront. Definitely one of my favorite date night's we've had.

Have settled into a good routine thus far aside from the weight loss/workout front. I still do my Wii, but only a few days a week and i"m hoping to kick that up a bit and REALLY get it in the schedule on a regular basis. I also really liked the waterfront path we walked along last night so I may try to do a weekly walk there as well just to mix it up sometimes.

Tonight I am making a foray into the world of pork and attempting a brine. I don't eat meat except for chicken, but the poor Boy I live with is getting a little bored so I am trying to mix it up a bit. I made an apple/maple brine last night and have it in the fridge marinating...Wish me luck with Ms. Piggy! lol

Friday, July 09, 2010

My Life

I've been looking around my life lately and wondering how in the heck I got here?

A little over a year I was plagued with anxiety problems, in therapy, living alone in a no frills NYC apartment spending WAY too much time with my Tivo and working crazy hours.

Now I live with a boyfriend who I couldn't love more and am heading toward marriage in a lovely New Jersey house with all the amenities, own my own car and work regular hours and sometimes even get to leave EARLY.

I wish I had kept more faith back then that things would be different. It's a stark reminder to me that "It won't always be like this, so enjoy the good times and know the bad ones won't be forever".

What on EARTH will another year bring??? I'm afraid to ask.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Holy Cats and Dogs.....

I BOUGHT A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As of Tuesday, I am the owner of a gorgeous 2010 Volkswagon Tiquan Wolfsberg Edition!!!!