New Yorkers get a bad reputation in the rest of the world for being cold and rude, which is why it's ironic that it wasn't until I moved here from the Midwest that I got accused of being just that way by New Yorkers themselves.
Throughout my 5 year tenure at work, many of my coworkers have told me I am a rude person (I'm ignoring the fact for now, that the act of accusing someone of being rude, is in itself rude). I acknowledge that I am not overly friendly. I do not go out of my way to have mindless conversations or ask people how they are. I am generally a private person who respects the privacy of others and don't delve into their personal lives. Part of the issue is also that Iwork in an uber-casual environment, where the line between work and personal life is very blurry and I don't attend many after business-hours work functions. I have another job that I do from home at night and can't always take time off from that to be social. Truth be told though, there is a bigger reason for my aloofness.
I suffer from social anxiety. Being around other people sometimes terrifies me. On the really bad days it takes me 2 tries to get out of the house and onto the subway to work, on the good days I can quietly feel nauseus without anyone around me knowing. I tend to shy away from most situations that involve my being around other people and I don't willingly engage people I don't know well. It's something that I'm working on, and I have been trying to force myself to attend events and do things with other people that I normally would shy away from, but it's still a rarity.
I know I shouldn't be upset for the misunderstanding. If I'm unwilling to admit my faults/problems to others, I can't expect them to judge me fairly. It's a choice I make not to make my anxiety known and I have to accept that there are consequences for that. Ultimately, I know I have to believe in who I am, but it pains me that to some people at least, that doesn't show through.
The Saturday after Thanksgiving I am going to attend a baby shower, for a hip, first time mom-to-be friend of mine and I have NO clue what to get as a shower gift!!! Any must have baby products that would make a good gift for a baby girl that anyone can recommend? I'm totally lost here.
A few days ago I posted about the diet soda and cake mix trick. I just pulled my coke zero brownies out of the oven and it turned out GREAT!!!! I can't believe it works but I can honestly say I don't notice a taste difference at all. What a great trick!! Just dump a can in the mix, stir and bake. It couldn't be easier.
Life is getting away from me these days. Between trying to keep up with the news, my day job, my freelance job and just general life (not to mention staving off a cold I can feel coming) I'm just barely keeping my head above water.
In other news, I got a raise! Very unexpected in this economy and a hefty one to boot. Champagne on me!