Thursday, November 30, 2006

Decorating....and other stuff....

I put up my Christmas tree last night. I have one of those little fake trees with the lights already in it....sadly I think this will be the last year for my little tree...the branches are falling off and it's in a very sad state. It was the first tree I had on my own, so it's a little sad to see it go. Hopefully I'll find a bargain after this season's post-Christmas sales.

I'm still sorting out all the thoughts of my recent trip back to IL...I definitely want to move back there, but wonder if it will ever happen. The whole job hunt process is so difficult, especially for me with my wacky background. I often wonder if I screwed myself for life by having such a useless major (theatre lighting design). I wonder how much it works against me when people see it on my resume, though I couch it and call it "BFA in Theatre Design and Technology", but still I think people see the "theatre" and think "freak". I miss event planning and the kind of work I used to do. I definitely need to step up my hunt for those kinds of jobs again.

Been doing the Eharmony thing again....nothing is really coming from it though, much like last time. I don't even really know why I tried it again....I guess I have a touch of the winter loneliness. Something about the cold (well ok it's like 68 here today, but indulge me..November/December is SUPPOSED to be cold) makes me want to cuddle up with someone and drink coffee while reading the New York Times. I really should just get a dog.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Monday, November 27, 2006

Day in the Life of Kai

A friend of mine did this and I thought it was cute, so I thought I'd try too:

8:15am - Get up. Make coffee:

8:35am - Leave house, walk to train:

9:15am - Arrive at work. Sit at desk. (view out office window):

7:15ish pm: Leave office walk to Grand Central Station:

8:00pm - Arrive home. Watch CNN. Check email:
That's my typical day!! What's yours like?

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Post Thanksgiving Wrap Up

I finally escaped family togetherness. I came to Chicago a day early (I fly back to NY tomorrow) to relax, reflect and blog! The friend I'm staying with had plans for tonight so I'm left in his beautiful, quiet house all to myself. An absolute perfect end to a crazy week.

Towards the end of the week I started to feel fussy and stifled. Friday I had a minor melt down, which was thankfully (mostly) averted with some major retail therapy on dad's credit card (with his permission). First of all my sis's bf was driving me crazy..and he wasn't even there! I fully acknowledge that my anoyance with him (and her) comes from jealousy. Not that I wish that I had their relationship, because I certainly don't, but that my little sister has a life experience that I've never had and know nothing about. I have no frame of reference at all, and I find it selfishly hard to witness her relationship. After listening to the beep beep beep of her keypad while she text messaged INCESSANTLY the entire week, I finally stole the phone and turned off the key beep, but it was only a minor reprieve. The straw that broke the camel's back was on Friday night when we were all sitting around the dining room table playing cards, we had only been sitting there a few hours at most and our house phone rang. It was sis's bf freaking out that she wasn't answering her cell. She had left it upstairs while we were playing cards and he had been texting/calling her and when she didn't answer he called my parents. I FLIPPED and completely lost it, which of course got me the same lecture I've been getting for years now that "I don't know anything about having a relationship, so I should shut up"..even my DAD said it this time...I still think it's insane to call someone 7 times and text message then 6 in 2 hours because they aren't responding, but apparently I know I'll shut up.

Secondly, I realized that there is one major complication with my pending move back to Chicago....I will once again be under (semi)local scrutiny from my parents....from my wanting a pet to the kind of car I want to get are going to be ridiculed, questioned and criticized....and I've never been good at handling all that from them. I'm not sure I'm ready for my choices not to be my own again.....but I feel powerless to stand up to my parents and defend myself. It's a battle I know I will have to face eventually.

In other news...I got a call from a recruiter that saw my resume on hotjobs. It's a NY job, but they are looking for a legal asst with entertainment law background. I'll probably call the woman back and at least see what the job is and if the salary is higher that what I make now. I wasn't really looking for another NY job, but if the pay differential is enough I might consider it.....I'll keep you posted!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

As usual I ate too much and had WAY too much family together time, but all in all it was a good Thanksgiving.

I'm currently thankful for, FINALLY having some alone time, my aunt's fabulous pecan pie, my puppy and did I mention ALONE TIME!!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Greetings from Illinois!

Back in IL...had a great weekend hanging out with friends in Chicago (and got some (hopefully) good photos. I got to meet Loki, the newest feline member of Seasons of the Heart's household...shopped on Michigan Avenue and had a FANTASTIC breakfast cooked for me! All in all a great trip so far!

Friday, November 17, 2006


45 minutes until I head to the airport for the...8th? 9th? time this year. I'm flying out of a different airport though so I'm feeling a little travel fussy. For this airport I have to take a cab to Penn Station, a train to the airport, then the airtrain within the airport to get to the gate.....I think I'll feel better once I get to the airport and get settled. If all else fails I bought some cookies at Duane Reade so I can indulge myself with chocolate.

Keep your fingers crossed for no lost cameras and no delayed flights!!!!


HR at my current job stumbled across my resume on one of the general boards I posted it on and called me out on it! I hadn't told anyone I was looking, so I was mortified when he said something to me. I knew them finding it was a possibility and it was a risk I was willing to take, but I was thrown off by suddenly having to justify myself like that and explain my reasons for keeping my eyes open to the job market. A part of me understands that he has to look out for the company and be informed about potential employee departures, but part of me feels its my business. Oh well. I just hope that any slight mistake isn't now construed as me "checking out". I still come to work every day, work 40-60 hours a week, do work at home....Its not that I'm necessarily unhappy here (mean receptionist aside), it's simply that I want to see my options. was one awkward conversation to say the least!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

In Happier News:

Grace (who is an organized goddess and did her xmas shopping early) sent me my Xmas present today, and since I clearly have no self control when it comes to opening presents, I opened it (she told me I could!) and I got Black Books Seasons 1 & 2! It's this British TV show that I LOVE, but wasn't released in an American DVD format. Well somehow she found it in the U.S. format and bought it for me! Yippeeeeee!!!!

Lost Wallet Trauma

Still no wallet, but it's NYC so I figure the chances of finding it are nil. Thankfully between last night and this morning I was able to cancel everything, and there was no unauthorized activity on any of my cards. Again in the thankfully I had my driver's license in my pocket, so I didn't lose that, so aside from inconvenience, a night's sleep lost and the $100 I took out of the ATM for my trip, it wasn't that bad. I am worried about flying on Friday, because I remember they usually like you to have the credit card you booked the flight with, and clearly I don't....but I think it's usually ok if you don't. It just means I probably can't use self check in, I'll have to go to a person. The bank said I could get a temporary ATM card until the new one comes, so I'm going to try to get that done today. sucks to have to deal with this the day before I leave, but it could have been SO much worse.


I went out to a bar tonight and as I got on the train I realized my wallet was missing. I went back to the bar to find it, but it was gone. I'm 90% sure I lost it at the bar when I took my sweater out of my bag, but I searched and didn't find it, which means someone probably took it. Bleah. Now it's 1am and I'm calling credit card companies, the bank and my insurance trying to cancel everything...AND it means that I'll be traveling to Illinois in two days with NO credit cards or ATM if I happen to have an emergency I'm screwed. SIGH.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Cleaning Finds.....

After my payday realization of just how much debt I STILL have from my summer trip to London, I was feeling a little stressed and out of control. When I'm stressed, I clean. Here's what I found in just one of my desk drawers here at work:

An empty box of tissues
5 of those sugared orange slices, hard as rocks
14 packets of ketchup in various languages
35 Vitamin C drops
15 CDs
3 earpieces to phones/dictation machines/stereos I do not own
Stale crackers (which I ate for lunch)
1 packet of EZMac
1 container of dried cranberries from whole foods

Bleah....I was able to pay off a chunk of debt this month (hurrah for the extra pay period in the month of November!) but I still have a ways to go. The trip was more than worth it, but it's frustrating to have no savings. I'm supposed to be socking money away for moving/car, but at this rate I won't be able to start saving for at least 6 months- year. Keep your fingers crossed for a holiday bonus at work this year!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Today's Fabulous News:


He emailed today to say that he should be home sometime in December! Since his elistment is up in April of 2007 he shouldn't have to go back and will be home for good!!!!

HUGE sighs of relief all around!

Monday, November 13, 2006

French Bread Recipe

Here's the french bread recipe I made last night. It turned out so good and is suprisingly easy, even for the "cooking challenged" like me! I can't find the blog I "borrowed" it from, so if this recipie is yours please let me know so I can give proper credit!

French Bread

1 pkg. or 1 tablespoon yeast
1 tablespoon sugar or honey
1 cup warm water(110-115 degrees)
2 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil
1 teaspoon salt
3-3 1/2 cups flour
1 egg, beaten
2 tablespoons milk

In a bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Add oil and salt and enough flour to make a stiff(a little sticky though) dough. Knead 10 minutes on a floured board.
Place in a greased bowl, turning once. Let rise until doubled, about 1 1/2 -2 hours. Punch down and let rest 15 minutes. Divide dough in half. Roll each half on a greased surface into a 15-inch long log. Place on greased cookie sheets sprinkled with cornmeal and make 5 slashes diagonally across tops.
Mix egg and milk and brush on top of loaves. Let rise until double, about 1 hour. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes or until loaves are golden brown and sound hollow when tapped.

I made bread!

My french bread turned out great! It wasn't the prettiest loaf of bread, but it tasted great and was SO easy. I can't find the link to the recipe, but I'll type it out and post it when I get home tonight. Hurrah for domesticity!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

***Super came and fixed the sink yesterday, so no more wet socks. Hurrah! I still have a wet, kinda smelly cabinet though....I'm not sure what to do about that, but at least the leak has stopped.

***My first attempt at bread from scratch is currently rising in its was suprisingly easy (so far) and if it comes out good, I'm definitely making my own bread from now on.

***saw a cute boy at the laundrymat this morning...he was doing his laundry wearing a SUIT....can't tell if he hadn't changed post-church or was just REALLY desperate for clean clothes. Of course, thinking nobody would be at the laundrymat so early on a Sunday, I wore my rattiest clothes, threw my hair in a ponytail and hadn't showered, so I spent the entire time hiding behind the row of dryers so cute boy wouldn't see me.....sigh.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Reason #10506847 why being single sucks

As I stepped into the kitchen this morning to make coffee, I noticed an odd "squish". Upon turning on the light I noticed my kitchen floor was flooded. I opened up the cabinet under the sink and sure enough, it was leaking. NOT what I wanted to deal with first thing in the morning (and more importantly how was I going to make coffee if I couldn't run the water!!!!). I soaked up the floor with some old towels, but the pipes are too close to the bottom of the cabinet to get a bucket under so I'm not sure what to do. I left messages for my Super, but haven't heard back yet. I sit here now coffee-less, with wet socks and a wet kitchen floor. Bleah.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Just another Friday night here at the house of Kai. For those of you who don't know my obsessive ritual, Friday night is pizza and cleaning night. I come home from the gym, have pizza and stay up all night cleaning my apartment. I go to bed when the sun comes up and sleep until early afternoon. Not the most exciting of rituals, but it works for me.

No plans for the weekend really. I found a french bread recipie I want to try, so I'll probably make that at some point. My friend Hil from work might come watch the football games with me on Sunday, but aside from that I'm just kicking back and being lazy this weekend.

6 days until I go back (yet again) to IL! Hurrah for another 2,000 frequent flyer miles.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Adventures in cooking part 3

Tonight I made..Egg rolls! I cheated a LOT and used prepackaged ingredients, but they still turned out well! See below for the recipie I used:

1 bag of prepackaged coleslaw mix
1/2 cup (or to taste) soy ginger marinade
*you can also add finely chopped cooked chicken or meat of your choice
Egg roll wrappers
olive oil

Cook packaged coleslaw in skillet with marinade until heated through. Remove from heat. Spoon mixture onto egg roll wrappers and roll up (directions are usually on the package). You can deep fry them, but I brushed mine with olive oil and baked them in the oven for 20 min, then broiled them for a few more min to get them crispy on the outside. Yum!

Things I want to accomplish before I die

Have a dog
Own a car
Experience love
Own my own home
Learn another language
Lose 30 lbs
Eat dinner in a restaurant alone
Redecorate my bedroom
Do a mosaic with the glassware I got when my grandmother died
Sell one of my photographs
Bake bread from scratch not using a breadmaker
Learn Photoshop
Learn to rollerblade/ice-skate backwards
Keep a wine journal
Learn how to start a fire in a fireplace
Eat a fancy meal that costs more than $150
Live in New York

Places to Visit:
New Mexico
Toronto (want to go again)
New Zealand

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

A Break from Election Coverage....

to post about cute boys. I work quite a bit of overtime in my job and don't always leave work at the same time every day. However, on the days I leave at 6:30 I see a very cute boy on the subway platform. We ride the 6 train uptown and then both switch to the 7 train at Grand Central, so we get about 20 minutes of train ride/platform waiting together.....he's always got headphones on (as do I) so I can't really approach him at all. He's just my 6:30pm subway crush......

If you're the cute asian guy with the black coat, silver earing and blue bookbag on 28th name is Kai...and I think you are HOT! LOL

Buh Bye!

Rums is gone, Montana went Democrat and there's still hope for Virginia! What a day! It's been a long time since I felt optimistic post-election day!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Democrats have the House! I'm not too optimistic about the Senate, but I'm still glued to CNN, have one computer screen showing the election map and one screen showing the New York Times election map.

I had one hell of a time voting this morning. Despite moving over 18 months ago, having a photo ID with my current address on it AND registering my new address with the Board of Elections AND showing the confirmation letter I received from the Board saying I had successfully changed my address, I was accused by some VERY RUDE poll workers of not having updated my address properly and was denied the ability to vote. After pleading my case I was finally shoved a paper ballot (yet not given any instructions or guidance) and told I could vote by paper. Ugh. I heard Chelsea Clinton had a similar experience at least I wasn't alone in my voting angst. Anyone else have voting trauma today?

Happy Midterm Election Day!


Here's a fantastic website that will give you a sample ballot and info on the candidates and offices!

Monday, November 06, 2006


Returning home from the gym on Saturday night, I was very aware it was "date night". Pairs of people both young and old filled the streets and trains. Being part of a couple is a completely foreign concept to me. I see people walking hand in hand through the streets of NY, people cuddling on the subway, good bye kisses exchanged and wonder what it's like to go through life with someone. I fully acknowledge that it's work to be in a relationship and that it's not all laughs and kisses, but as someone who is most likely single for life, love is an amazement to me. I've loved people, but never experienced love in return. Most of my "relationships" (I'm using that term VERY loosely) have been of the "friends with benefits"or the "lets hook-up, but not tell anyone" varieties. The number of times in my life I've been the "secret friend" is astounding, and I fully acknowledge it's nobody's fault but my own. I don't assert myself or make my feelings known because I know how it will play out. As I've been told many many times before, I'm not the kind of girl men have real relationships with. I'm the layover girl. The one to hang out with until the prettier, smarter, skinnier girls free up. I'm kept a secret because to know about me would kill a guy's "game" and make him look "taken". I know it's the niche I created for myself, I just feel powerless to stand up and want more because, like most, I fear the certainty of rejection. The few times I've asked people out, I've been turned down in the most astounding and cruel ways. In fact I'm not sure I've ever asked a guy out and had him say yes. (The exception being the guy who said "yes! ha just kidding, like I'd go out with YOU"). I wish I had it in me to walk away and say f*ck you to the losers in life. I wish I could stand up to the date from hell and make him FINALLY go away. I wish I thought I was good enough to be with someone. I accept that I'm fiercely independent and that I need a LOT of personal space and maybe that means I'll be single forever. I'm inclined to think so, but I learned long ago to never say never. I just wish I knew what the alternative was like.....what its like to play and fight and sleep with someone who loves you.....what it's like to be introduced as someone's girlfriend, instead of shoved under the table so nobody sees you. I wonder what it's like to hear the words and what it's like to say them when they have meaning.

Never say never and never say forever.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

REVIEW: Minsan Pa

I came across this Filipino movie at my local library. It's subtitled in English, though even with my somewhat limited knowledge of Tagalog, I could tell it was not translating exactly what they were saying. The English text was merely a "gist" of the dialogue. For me it was somewhat distracting, even though overall I really enjoyed this movie.

Minsan Pa translates to One Moment More. It's the story of a 20 something man (a very HOT 20 something man I might add) who is forced to take care of his family when his father leaves them to be with his mistress. Jerry works as a tour guide in Cebu to earn money to support his mother and siblings and in his work he observes love and attraction in its many forms, forcing him to deal with his own thoughts about marriage and love. The ending is very weak, but the message is still clear and I recommend it to anyone who enjoys foreign movies.

And I thought MY date who wouldn't go away was bad...

**update on the date who won't go away he STILL calls on Friday and Saturday nights around 6pm to ask if I want to hang out that night. dont call me an HOUR before you want to meet up! It's too bad, because he's so cute and started out as a really nice guy, but he's clearly just looking for a hook up and I'm not interested. Ah well.....anyway.

A friend forwarded this link to me and I HAD to date looks like a catch compared to what this woman had to deal with......enjoy!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

I'm about to head off to the gym for the THIRD time this week! Go me!

Friday, November 03, 2006

It's Posting Month...

So apparently November is blog month and we're supposed to blog every day, so I thought I'd see how long I can go. Sorry in advance for the boring posts.

Today's posts will be about dog names. After I secure a job in Chicago (and get an apartment and get a car) I want to finally get a dog, and I've been thinking about what I'd want to name it. I was hoping to name it something connected to New York, but I haven't really come up with anything I's what I got so far (in no particular order):

Madison (because I work on Madison Avenue)
Manhattan (too long I think)
Verlaine (place I hang out in NY)
Shea (after the Mets stadium)

I'm not in love with any of the names....I think Brooklyn is my fav, though it might be too long...maybe Madison? Anyone have any other suggestions?

Thursday, November 02, 2006


Some fun Firsts!

1. Who was your first prom date?
The Taco Bell guy.....

2. Who was your first roommate?

3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?

4. What was your first job?
Event stagehand

5. What was your first car?
Mercury Tracer

6. When did you go to your first funeral?
Very young...I think when my parents handyman died.

7. Where was your first kiss?
High School band room....

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
No idea. Maybe Ms. Anderson

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
New York

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with and how old were you?
High School...I think I was 17

11. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
Kylene! We met in Preschool I think and we just found eachother recently on myspace!

12. Where was your first sleepover?
Kylene's probably lol

13. Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
My boss

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
Beth and Erics

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Turn on the news

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
Alter Bridge

17. First tattoo or piercing?

18. First celebrity crush?
Jason Bateman (hangs head in shame)

19. First crush?
Tom Hurlburt

20. When was your first detention?
I don't think I had any....

I suck!

Already I've fallen behind in my job hunt. My goal was to apply for something (hopefully more than 1 something) every day, but alas last night I went out with a friend instead of going home to work on applications. I found 3 great jobs to apply for too and there they sit in my inbox, just waiting for cover letters to be written. I suppose 1 night off isn't the end of the world, tonight I'll hopefully get back on track, apply for the 3 I found yesterday and will hopefully find more. I worry that job hunting from a distance will be impossible....I've considered changing the address on my resume to an IL address...but I feel that's kind of shady and I don't like being dishonest on a resume. I'm totally willing to pay for the cost of plane tickets to interviews and for relocation costs, so it's frustrating if my address is what limits me. Oh well. I suppose we'll try it the honest way for awhile and see if I get any interviews. Some of the resumes I've seen come through my current job have gone the "permenent address, temporary address" route...maybe I'll try that.

sigh. this sucks.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


**Enough with the Midterm election coverage of bad jokes and explicit two sentence passages in books people wrote 20+ years ago!! I hate the last week before elections...Politicians treat the voters like all we read is People magazine.

**Had to ride in the elevator this morning listening to my fellow elevator patrons discus the Pagan evils of Halloween. Thankfully I work on the 8th floor so the trip was short.

**speaking of Halloween....last night I rode the subway with a fairy, frog, and a group of 4 kids that were either dressed as punks or dressed normally.....It's's hard to tell sometimes.