Saturday, June 30, 2007

Nobody to Call

I'm sitting on my couch on a Saturday night. I've browsed my Tivo playlist, watched 1/2 a season of the Gilmore Girls, taken a bath and skated around my house with wet towels waxing the floor. It's official. I'm bored. I only have a few people in NY that I hang out with, one currently finishing her MBA and swamped with summer school and one who recently found a bf and spends all her time with him. I know people have lives, family obligations and their own "stuff" going on, but it doesn't make me feel less lonely. One of my best friends leaves in a week to go teach summer school in London and with everything going on there I'm terrified for her safety. She's the one I talk to almost daily, the one I decompress with, vent to, and spend hours "watching" tv with, even though we're 3 time zones apart. I don't know what I'm going to do without my "go to" person for the rest of the summer.

I've always been a solitary, independent person. I prefer the company of my books and Tivo to the company of humans most of the time, but sometimes my solitude gets to me and I get lonely. I look around my apartment and think to myself "is this it for me?". I'm at a place in my life where I like my stuff, my routines, my knowledge, but I can't help but still feel alone.

How is it that I live in the biggest city in this country and still feel like this?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

What we miss.

Just after college I lived with a friend/lover/roommate combo for about a year. He got up for work much earlier than I did and every. single. morning. he would inadvertently hit the blinds on the sliding glass door on my side of the bed as he got dressed, making a loud ruckus and waking me up way before my alarm. It drove me crazy.

Man. I really miss that.

2 Down!..and other randomness

Sent in application #2 today. This was for my old job so I was particularly nervous about it. Lets hope I hear from one or both of these companies soon!

It's HOOOOOT in NY now. I have avoided turning on my bedroom AC until now, but I think tonight is the night. I am so not a fan of global warming.

Hottie British guy returned from his vacation to London today and came up and kissed me on the cheek. I may never wash my face again!

Had a great lunch with a former co-worker who quit to go back to school. He is also a photographer so we had a fantastic conversation about our recent trips and photo adventures. I miss having him at work and having these kinds of conversations more frequently. It's very motivating and gets my creative juices flowing.

Did I mention it's bloody hot?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

I took the no High Fructose Corn Syrup Challenge!

Cleanerplateclub recently posted about the negative effect High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) is having on the American diet. It's in nearly everything in this country and some studies are showing it's not so good for you. Cleanerplateclub posed a challenge to her readers to grocery shop and not buy any food containing HFCS. I am proud to say that I went to the grocery store today and managed to buy only 1 item containing it (my beloved Fiber One bars). I eat a Fiber One bar for breakfast and I decided that for me, the benefits of having a fiber packed start to my day outweighed the HFCS.

I have to say that overall I am quite proud of my goal of making 2007 a healthier year for me. Though I haven't really seen significant weight loss (mostly due to my inability to get my butt off the couch and to the gym), I know that my diet this year compared to last is much healthier and contains significantly less preservatives. Finally a new years resolution that I've stuck to!!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Still no Lease....

About a month ago I sent my lease renewal form in. I had misread the date and it was three weeks late so I was worried they were going to kick me out. It's been 4 weeks now and I haven't heard a word from them. I'm scared to call them to inquire about it, I figure as long as I'm here and paying my rent I shouldn't call attention to the situation. I just wish they would send me the paperwork so I could stop worrying about it! My lease is up as of August 1 so I guess if I haven't heard by then I will have to call them. Keep your fingers crossed I get that paperwork soon!!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007


In keeping with the Throwback Friday tradition, here it is. I was in show choir in junior high and here I am in all my sequined glory.

What I'll Remember

I don't know if it is because I'm sick or if its an indicator of something else, but I didn't feel as good as I thought I would when I sent in my application for a new job. Even though I'm ready for a new job and know that New York isn't the place I want to "settle down" I think leaving will be bittersweet. All day I've been thinking about what I will remember about my years in New York and here's what I've come up with.

What I'll Remember:

Walking 7 miles to work on the coldest day in December during the NYC transit strike.

Living for 6 days with no power during the Queens blackout.

Sitting on the patio of an Upper East Side bar drinking wine and chatting with friends.

Walking the 6 mile perimeter of Central Park with my friend Hallie before she moved away.

Completing the JP Morgan Corporate Challenge, stupidly hydrating post-race with vodka (not water) and feeling SO hungover the next FOUR days.

The men: Mr. Fun, Train Boy, Eharmony Boy and all the crushes.

Hopefully I can add to this list in whatever time I have left here, be it weeks, months or years.

Faxes and Colds

I finally faxed the application for the Chicago job today. Still haven't made any headway on the application for my old job, but I hope to get to it this weekend if I'm feeling up to it. I seem to have come down with a nasty cold/flu/allergies combo that has wiped me out lately. My Zicam/Flinstones Vitamins/Nyquill combo doesn't seem to be doing the trick. I'm hoping I can shake it off with a weekend spent in bed. At least that gives me a chance to catch up on my Tivo/movies.

Monday, June 18, 2007

1 Down!!!

With some guidance from Seeking Solace and a good night's sleep, I managed to FINALLY finish one of my cover letters and resumes for a job application. I sent it out to some friends for the final grammar/spelling check and then I'm sending it out!

Now I just have to complete the one for my old job. Hopefully I can steal some sections and alter them, so I won't have to start from scratch.

I feel like I'm slowly inching steps!


I'm sitting in bed with my laptop and all of a sudden there was a loud POP and sparks just flew out of the outlet that my computer and lamp are connected to. Both stayed on and nothing caught fire, but it was alarming and I'm not quite sure what to do.....I don't have a fire extinguisher.....

The wall isn't hot and there was no smoke, but I'm still not entirely sure I want to go to bed next to this outlet....I majored in lighting design and electricity....this shouldn't freak me out. LOL

I'm beginning to think it wasn't from the outlet, but instead my brain combusting from attempting to write cover letters all day.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

More Cover Letter Whining...

I managed to squeeze a draft of each cover letter out, I'm actually on draft 2 of the job in Chicago, but I hate all the drafts and have once again hit a roadblock with this process. I end up just summarizing my resume, which as Seeking Solace said is redundant, they are already getting my resume, but other than listing my experience I don't see any other way to link my experience to what they want. They want someone with tech experience, I have a degree in theatre technology. They want someone with contract knowledge, I work in entertainment law.

I feel like every step of this process is impossible for me, which in turn makes me feel stuck, which in turn makes me depressed, which in turn makes me unmotivated.

It's a vicious circle!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

In the mood for cookin'

In the last 24 hours I made the following:

Cleaner Plate Club's fish recipe - only I made it with chicken! This recipe ROCKS, fast, easy and tasty. A great combo for me!

Restricted Gourmet's Brown Sugar Cake - This cake has a light taste and is great warmed with a bit of cream on top. Not terrific for the diet, but a lovely treat!

Soft pretzles from allrecipes - I love those pretzels you get at the mall and this is an easy recipe. Mine don't always come out pretzel shaped, but they are tasty nonetheless.

I better stop cooking or else weigh in day this week is gonna be ROUGH! LOL

Cleaning Q

Anyone else have one of these window fans? I LOVE how cool they keep my apartment in the summer, but in NYC they get dirty SO fast. I have no idea how to clean them since you can't take them apart. Anyone have any tips??

I hate this SO much

Cover letters. HATE HATE cover letters. I have 2 I want to get out this weekend, but I'm on major writers block. I've never been able to write cover letters and it often literally takes me sitting blankly in front of my computer for 12+ hours before I can come up with anything. I think I would rather go to the dentist than write a cover letter.

Ugh. Anyone have any tips???

Friday, June 15, 2007

I'm off work today and bored, so I'm scanning in some pics for Throwback Thursdays. Mama Doggy Love posted some High School dance photos, so here is mine. Homecoming 1996! My date was my best friend's brother, who I had a HUGE crush on....we ended up semi-dating, and even kept in touch when I went to college and he went into the Army, but nothing ever came of it. God LOOK at his haircut....what was I thinking?? LOL

Thursday, June 14, 2007

More Photos

Head on over to my photo blog and check out the rest of my Aruba photos. I didn't take many photos this trip, but I did get a few favorites.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Beach!

Feet in the Sand

The View Out My Balcony

I'm on U.S. Soil Again.

Back from Aruba! Tanned, relaxed and SO not ready to ready the 500 emails I got in the 5 days I was gone! Eventually I'll catch up with everyone's blogs, emails, comments and lives! Photos coming shortly!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Holy Hottie Batman

As I'm walking by our receptionist's desk this afternoon I noticed a HOT guy waiting in the lobby. The receptionist was nowhere to be found, so I asked if he needed assistance and he said he was visiting from Los Angeles and had been waiting about 20 minutes to see one of our executives. I called the exec's cell phone to see where he was, and he told me he had COMPLETELY forgot about his meeting with the Hot guy (he used his real name of course, he didn't call him HOT guy) and he would rush back to the office to see him, but was going to be about 20 more minutes. He asked that I entertain him until his arrival.

NO problem. :-P

I was SO on my game, I chatted him up, found a way to make him have to look over my shoulder at my computer screen (asked him if he needed directions to his next meeting across town), I was cracking jokes with people who walked by and had him in stitches. I was so on my game that when our security alarm randomly went off, I swiftly punched a few keys to make it stop. A movie scene couldn't have been scripted better. I very nearly gave him my phone number, but decided it would be too unethical. He did ask lots of questions about me, like how long I had been here and what department I worked in, so he could easily find me if he wanted to. I did notice that even though I never told him my name, he used it when he said goodbye on his way out.

Sigh. I love it when HOT guys fall in my lap. Even though nothing will ever come from it, it still made my day just a little bit brighter.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Decsions Decisions 2

Something Jenn said in my comments on my first Decisions post has been stuck in my mind the past few days:

"Would your life be better if you had that job?"

I sit at work all day asking myself this question. Then I go home and sit on my couch and ask myself this question. After 3 days of asking myself this question I'm not sure I am any closer to a clear answer.

There will be aspects of the new job that I know I will love, there will be aspects of the new job that I know will frustrate me. I imagine that's pretty much how it would be with any job. The frustrations of the new cancel out the frustrations of the old and it's what's left that matters. Aside from the job being in a field I enjoy, the biggest change would probably be in my day-to-day life.

I think in the long run my daily life would be better with this job. After my NY lease ran out (or after finding a sublet), I could easily afford an apartment with all the amenities I don't have here in NY, and I could definitely have a dog again. For most people the day-to-day life is mundane and insignificant, but for me, a self-proclaimed loner, my daily routine and tasks truly are the "comforts of home".

New York makes daily life difficult. Imagine going to the grocery store and only being able to buy what you can carry home. A quick trip to Target takes a minimum of 2 hours and changing trains twice. Doing laundry means carrying your laundry basket two blocks all the while attempting to prevent your underwear from blowing across the street. A return to the simpler, more convenient life of IL is tempting.

I still need to make out a pro/con list, but as of right now I'm leaning toward submitting my application.

Until then it looks like many more sleepless nights contemplating my quality of life. Thanks a lot Jenn :-P

What the World Eats

I came across this very striking photo essay on the TIME website that I wanted to share.

Check it out.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Decisions, Decisions

It recently came to my attention that my old job in Illinois (in the event planning field) is open again. Seeing the job ad brought back a flood of emotions all leading to the ultimate question of: Do I apply?

The considerations (in no particular order):

1) There is no guarantee I would get the job. If I don't, could my ego take it?
2) It would pay significantly less than what I make now, though the cost of living would also be significantly less. I could probably have the same standard of living I have now (including air conditioning, dishwasher and dog), but wouldn't be able to travel as much.
3) It's a job working for a major University, so I could potentially take photography classes for free.
4) It's 3 hours south of Chicago, ideally I wanted to be much closer to a major city than that, though that does decrease the cost of housing significantly and I could potentially eventually buy a house.
5) Aside from 1 person, the department I would be working in is all new people and I would be working under someone new. Can I handle being managed in a situation where I already have a set way of doing the job.
6) It's obviously a lateral move and may appear on a resume as a step BACK, is this something that will hurt me if I decide to job hunt later in life?
7) I JUST signed my lease for another year. and this job starts mid-August, so I would potentially have to live with my parents for an entire year (or until I could sublet my place). They live an hour and 15 min away from the job, which is quite a commute, though I potentially have friends I could stay with off and on if needed. Is this a temporary situation that is feasible.
8) It's a job I know I'm good at and that I love.

Anyone have ANY advice???

Monday, June 04, 2007

I'm Leaving the Country in 5 Days

I don't think it hit me until my dad said something about having to go through customs. How on earth did this trip sneak up on me? My parents asked me to go on this *cue dramatic music* "last family vacation as just the 4 of us before your sister gets married" all the way back in January. I was reluctant to agree. My vacation time is precious and spending 5 days in a condo arguing with my parents and sibling isn't exactly my idea of a good time. In the end though, the promise of a completely free trip to Aruba where I could sit on the beach and potentially reclaim my inspiration as a photographer, was too tempting to pass up and I agreed to go.

I know in the end some parts of the trip will be worse than what I expect and some will be better, so I guess it all works out in the end. My parents and I have VERY different vacation styles. I like to relax and have completely unstructured days where I'm free to wander around aimlessly and finding my own sights and interests, my dad feels the need to schedule EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE of his time and drag us along with him. I've already prepared them for this battle, saying I will NOT be accompanying them on their excursions, but I know in the end I'll be bullied into at least some of them. Hopefully though I can find some time for myself, either in the resort gym, pool or beach. Hopefully my sister won't turn the entire week into a "quest to find a phone every 15 minutes" so she can call her fiance. Hopefully my parents will lay off me and not ask me 20 times when I'm going to get married or even have a date.

Hopefully my iPod batteries will last so I can tune them all out once the "hope" wears off.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

The CUTEST Dog Treats Ever!

The ladies over at featured my FAVORITE dog treats this week on their site. Head on over and check them out.

Also PLEASE keep Doggy Mama and her doggies (and husband!) in your thoughts and prayers. Her dog Bismarck was recently diagnosed with lymphoma and their family needs all the karma, chi and positive thoughts you can send their way!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Is it Summer Already?

If there is one thing that I miss more than anything else about the Midwest it is the prevalence of air conditioning. NY apartments all have those little window units that only cool one room, in my case the bedroom, so for 3 months of the year I'm confined to one room of my apartment (and it's not the room that has cable and Tivo!). It's just barely June and I'm already whining about the's going to be a LONG summer.

Central air conditioning is DEFINITELY going on my Illinois apartment must-have list!