Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Ode to Rain

I love the sound of rain. It's such a great sound. I could do without thunder and lightning though. I'll splash in puddles and play in the rain all day, but as soon as the thunder starts I can be found underneath my dining room table cluching a stuffed animal. I would rather be in love, than be in lightning.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

A rant about furniture refinishing.

I am beyond frustrated at my furniture staining project. It just isn't getting dark enough, and it's nearly impossible to get it even. My hands are covered in stain that is NOT coming off, everything I touch gets stain on it. Do you know how hard it is to make grilled cheese without touching ANYTHING with your hands? I'm frustrated that my apartment is dirty, and in complete disarray.....I'm not convinced I'm going to be able to remember how to put my futon back together again, and I have NO idea if it is even going to look good in the end.


Does real life romance exist? Candlelight dinners with Miles Davis in the background, love letters under the door, surprise flowers for no reason at all.....is it real, or just movie made moments? When did being sweet go out of style?

Friday, September 24, 2004

Ok life, I get the hint

The song that at work that I've been forced to listen to at varying decibel levels is called "Relearn Love". If that isn't irony I don't know what is.

Oh and by the way, Peas explode in the microwave.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I want nothing more than Strawberries right now....no make that a strawberry milkshake...yeah..THAT would be perfect.

My wisdom teeth are KILLING me.....I know I should have them out, but I'm scared. Any words of encouragement for me? I can't keep eating nothing but mashed potatoes for much longer......

Monday, September 20, 2004

Good-bye kisses aren't kisses at all. They are emotional tattoos you leave on someone, or that get left on you.

Believing in love and not believing in love yield the same result ultimately. It's funny how I never knew that before. Either way it's a loss. Loss of love or loss of hope. Pain A or Pain B.

When did I become afraid of emotion? I thought girls were supposed to be taught to be emotional. When did I become a "guy" about feelings? (no offense to my male blog readers intended)

Saturday, September 18, 2004

What I learned last night:

Getting a cork out of a wine bottle with a pair of scissors and a paring knife is impossible.

Friday, September 17, 2004

I'm ready for my weekend. I'm in my PJ's, got my bottle of wine and the Oscar CD's are in the stereo! Whoo hoo!

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Those 7 train riders

The other day I saw an obviously tipsy (if not full blown drunk) woman get on the 7 train. In her left hand she had a 1/2 gallon of milk that was 3/4 of the way full. In her right hand she had a near empty bottle of what I presumed to be vodka. It was an odd sight to say the least. I spent the remainder of the ride home wondering what possible drink she was making with milk and whatever clear alcohol was in her possession. Oh those wacky Mets fans.

I actually wear clothes

Maybe it's a sign of age, of my holding onto antiquated beliefs and morals, but what is with the clothing some girls/women are wearing these days?? Women of all sizes and shapes wearing TIGHT pants, tiny tops, underwear showing through transparent skirts.....maybe it's my Midwestern upbringing....maybe it's just my neighborhood....but it's unbelievable some of the outfits I see on the streets. I've been known to SWIM in more clothing than some of these women are wearing. I feel cloaked while wearing jeans and a t-shirt in comparison. I can't wait for winter to see how these "fashions" are adapted to the weather. I fully admit my approach to clothing for myself can be on the conservative side. I wear long pants in all seasons, refuse to wear sleeveless items....don't own a skirt above my knee, but this alternative extreme seems to be the norm nowadays.
I really just used the word nowadays. When did I turn 70? Worse, when did I turn into my grandmother? Someone pass the Polygrip, it's gonna be a long life.

Suprise Mailings

Somebody who loves me a great deal sent me the BEST package today. It contained a 4 disc set of Oscar Petersen piano solos! A LONG evening of great jazz is ahead of me. My own private concert. If only I had a bottle of wine.

Love you.

Friday, September 10, 2004

I'm lonely.

Random 7 Train Thought

When you buy something on credit, it ends up costing more than it's worth. Let's say you buy an IPOD and it's $250. You put it on your Discover Card and pay it off little by little every month. In the end because of interest it ended up costing you $325. MORE than what it was worth. That's what love is like to me. It has a price and a value, but the acutal COST is too much to bear.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Random Thought (1 of MANY)

How come achieving the American dream doesn't allow you any time to actually DREAM??
How come the more I feel whole, the lonelier I get? Puzzle pieces missing from my life are finally coming together, I'm settling into a life people only dream about, yet I feel lonely.

I guess you can only fill the glass to the top without putting something at the bottom.

Monday, September 06, 2004

We must be careful who we chose to let into our lives. We are affected by others, their lives, their choices. It's not just about being influenced though, it's about exerting influence . Though we may not know it or believe it, we do alter the path and fate of everyone we have contact with. Be careful who influences you, but also be careful of those you chose to influence.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

School of Life

What is human nature? What parts of us are inherent to our selves, our society, our instincts? I'm beginning to think that everything is learned, there is no such thing as human nature or instinct. We absorb everything. We learn to touch, taste, feel. Love. Live.

I haven't thought this through yet. Let me get back to you.

Random thought: I LOVE doing laundry. You put dirty clothes into a magic machine and 25 minutes later they come out clean and smelling good! It's like a car wash for your clothes!
Um what??? Ok that's it, someone commit me to cleaners anonymous quick.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Looking up continued

I wonder now if my parental idealism is what causes the gap that exists between myself and my parents. I suppose there are many factors that contribute, generational divide, personality differences, circumstance...maybe by holding them up, I'm holding them apart.They seem like strangers to me most of the time. Idealistic Strangers. I wish they understood me, my life, my art. I know they look at themselves and wonder how they raised someone so polar opposite to them. I still look up to them though, want their approval.And yet another one of my MANY contradictions.....