Friday, December 29, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
More later when I have some downtime.
Ho Ho Ho!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Single. Very Very Very single.
B- Best Friend?
Aaron and Grace
C- Cake or Pie?
Cake. Preferably with that sugary white frosting. Yum!
D- Drink of Choice?
Apple Martini or a good white whine.
E- Essential Item?
F- Favorite Color?
G- Gummi Bears or Worms?
Gummi anything, it's all the same to me
We moved around too much for me to have one.
Peppermint Mochas from Starbucks
J- January or February?
K- Kids and names?
None, but I like the names, Ella, Aidan and Eli
L- Life is incomplete without?
M- Marriage Date?
Half past never.
N- Number of Siblings?
1 younger sister
O- Oranges or apples?
Never experiencing love.
Q- Favorite Quote?
"If you don't know there is a trampoline in a room, you aren't gonna dust the ceiling for prints" - Law & Order
R- Reason to Smile?
T- Tag three people!
Tag. You are it!
U- Unkown Fact About Me?
I eat ice cream with a fork.
V- Vegetable you hate?
W- Worst habit?
Being self critical.
X- X-Rays you've had?
Ribs, fingers, shoulder
Y- Your favorite food?
- Flying on the worst weather day in NY of the entire month.
-Driving from Chicago to Parents (3 hours), Parents to Chicago, Chicago to Parents, Parents to Chicago.....= 12 hours in car in 4 days.
- Attending a special brunch my parents are hosting for sister's bf's family and having to live through sis and bf's sickening PDA and baby talk.
- Reminding my parents (AGAIN) that I will (AGAIN) not be eating the Christmas Eve dinner of ham and Christmas night dinner of Pork because I'M A VEGETARIAN and have been for almost 15 years.
24 hours until my flight leaves. Think it's too late to convince my parents there are no NY-IL flights this week?
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
In honor of his return, I bought myself the entire collection of Fawlty Towers. Aaron and I (and our respective significant others at the time) spent the entire summer after our freshman year of high school roller blading all day and watching Fawlty Towers all night and as soon as I saw in on Amazon I knew I had to have it. I can't wait to crawl in bed tonight and watch it. I only wish he was here with me laughing and remembering that summer along with me.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light molasses
5 tablespoons butter or
2/3 cup cold water
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon salt
|1.||Combine egg, sugar, molasses, butter and water; mix well. In a large mixing bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, ginger and salt; add molasses mixture. Beat until well mixed. Pour into a greased 8-in. square baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes or until cake tests done. Serve warm with whipped cream.|
Friday, December 15, 2006
My only concern with them is that they aren't anti-bacterial. Though I believe that using too many antibacterial products isn't good, I'll still probably use 409 in the kitchen, at least when working with chicken.
Anyone else use Method? I'd love to hear what you think!
After today I PROMISE to start saving, but I couldn't resist buying myself a little present from Kenneth Cole. Isn't it gorgeous?!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Office holiday party is tonight....lets hope I remember what I'm drinking there or else I'm going to be VERY drunk.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
I ventured out this afternoon for my Starbucks Peppermint mocha.....as I was walking down the stairs I saw the guy from upstairs and his girl heading out to the trash.....with a box from Ikea....with a photo of a bed on it....The banging was them BUILDING a new bed. LOL
Let's just hope I don't have to listen to them break it in tonight....
Friday, December 01, 2006
Global warming is ruining my holiday fun!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
I'm still sorting out all the thoughts of my recent trip back to IL...I definitely want to move back there, but wonder if it will ever happen. The whole job hunt process is so difficult, especially for me with my wacky background. I often wonder if I screwed myself for life by having such a useless major (theatre lighting design). I wonder how much it works against me when people see it on my resume, though I couch it and call it "BFA in Theatre Design and Technology", but still I think people see the "theatre" and think "freak". I miss event planning and the kind of work I used to do. I definitely need to step up my hunt for those kinds of jobs again.
Been doing the Eharmony thing again....nothing is really coming from it though, much like last time. I don't even really know why I tried it again....I guess I have a touch of the winter loneliness. Something about the cold (well ok it's like 68 here today, but indulge me..November/December is SUPPOSED to be cold) makes me want to cuddle up with someone and drink coffee while reading the New York Times. I really should just get a dog.
Monday, November 27, 2006
8:15am - Get up. Make coffee:
8:35am - Leave house, walk to train:
9:15am - Arrive at work. Sit at desk. (view out office window):
7:15ish pm: Leave office walk to Grand Central Station:
8:00pm - Arrive home. Watch CNN. Check email:
That's my typical day!! What's yours like?
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Towards the end of the week I started to feel fussy and stifled. Friday I had a minor melt down, which was thankfully (mostly) averted with some major retail therapy on dad's credit card (with his permission). First of all my sis's bf was driving me crazy..and he wasn't even there! I fully acknowledge that my anoyance with him (and her) comes from jealousy. Not that I wish that I had their relationship, because I certainly don't, but that my little sister has a life experience that I've never had and know nothing about. I have no frame of reference at all, and I find it selfishly hard to witness her relationship. After listening to the beep beep beep of her keypad while she text messaged INCESSANTLY the entire week, I finally stole the phone and turned off the key beep, but it was only a minor reprieve. The straw that broke the camel's back was on Friday night when we were all sitting around the dining room table playing cards, we had only been sitting there a few hours at most and our house phone rang. It was sis's bf freaking out that she wasn't answering her cell. She had left it upstairs while we were playing cards and he had been texting/calling her and when she didn't answer he called my parents. I FLIPPED and completely lost it, which of course got me the same lecture I've been getting for years now that "I don't know anything about having a relationship, so I should shut up"..even my DAD said it this time...I still think it's insane to call someone 7 times and text message then 6 in 2 hours because they aren't responding, but apparently I know nothing....so I'll shut up.
Secondly, I realized that there is one major complication with my pending move back to Chicago....I will once again be under (semi)local scrutiny from my parents....from my wanting a pet to the kind of car I want to get are going to be ridiculed, questioned and criticized....and I've never been good at handling all that from them. I'm not sure I'm ready for my choices not to be my own again.....but I feel powerless to stand up to my parents and defend myself. It's a battle I know I will have to face eventually.
In other news...I got a call from a recruiter that saw my resume on hotjobs. It's a NY job, but they are looking for a legal asst with entertainment law background. I'll probably call the woman back and at least see what the job is and if the salary is higher that what I make now. I wasn't really looking for another NY job, but if the pay differential is enough I might consider it.....I'll keep you posted!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
As usual I ate too much and had WAY too much family together time, but all in all it was a good Thanksgiving.
I'm currently thankful for, FINALLY having some alone time, my aunt's fabulous pecan pie, my puppy and did I mention ALONE TIME!!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Keep your fingers crossed for no lost cameras and no delayed flights!!!!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
An empty box of tissues
5 of those sugared orange slices, hard as rocks
14 packets of ketchup in various languages
35 Vitamin C drops
3 earpieces to phones/dictation machines/stereos I do not own
Stale crackers (which I ate for lunch)
1 packet of EZMac
1 container of dried cranberries from whole foods
Bleah....I was able to pay off a chunk of debt this month (hurrah for the extra pay period in the month of November!) but I still have a ways to go. The trip was more than worth it, but it's frustrating to have no savings. I'm supposed to be socking money away for moving/car, but at this rate I won't be able to start saving for at least 6 months- year. Keep your fingers crossed for a holiday bonus at work this year!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
French Bread1 pkg. or 1 tablespoon yeast
1 tablespoon sugar or honey
1 cup warm water(110-115 degrees)
2 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil
1 teaspoon salt
3-3 1/2 cups flour
1 egg, beaten
2 tablespoons milk
In a bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Add oil and salt and enough flour to make a stiff(a little sticky though) dough. Knead 10 minutes on a floured board.
Place in a greased bowl, turning once. Let rise until doubled, about 1 1/2 -2 hours. Punch down and let rest 15 minutes. Divide dough in half. Roll each half on a greased surface into a 15-inch long log. Place on greased cookie sheets sprinkled with cornmeal and make 5 slashes diagonally across tops.
Mix egg and milk and brush on top of loaves. Let rise until double, about 1 hour. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes or until loaves are golden brown and sound hollow when tapped.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
***My first attempt at bread from scratch is currently rising in its bowl.....it was suprisingly easy (so far) and if it comes out good, I'm definitely making my own bread from now on.
***saw a cute boy at the laundrymat this morning...he was doing his laundry wearing a SUIT....can't tell if he hadn't changed post-church or was just REALLY desperate for clean clothes. Of course, thinking nobody would be at the laundrymat so early on a Sunday, I wore my rattiest clothes, threw my hair in a ponytail and hadn't showered, so I spent the entire time hiding behind the row of dryers so cute boy wouldn't see me.....sigh.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
No plans for the weekend really. I found a french bread recipie I want to try, so I'll probably make that at some point. My friend Hil from work might come watch the football games with me on Sunday, but aside from that I'm just kicking back and being lazy this weekend.
6 days until I go back (yet again) to IL! Hurrah for another 2,000 frequent flyer miles.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
1 bag of prepackaged coleslaw mix
1/2 cup (or to taste) soy ginger marinade
*you can also add finely chopped cooked chicken or meat of your choice
Egg roll wrappers
Cook packaged coleslaw in skillet with marinade until heated through. Remove from heat. Spoon mixture onto egg roll wrappers and roll up (directions are usually on the package). You can deep fry them, but I brushed mine with olive oil and baked them in the oven for 20 min, then broiled them for a few more min to get them crispy on the outside. Yum!
Have a dog
Own a car
Own my own home
Learn another language
Lose 30 lbs
Eat dinner in a restaurant alone
Redecorate my bedroom
Do a mosaic with the glassware I got when my grandmother died
Sell one of my photographs
Bake bread from scratch not using a breadmaker
Learn to rollerblade/ice-skate backwards
Keep a wine journal
Learn how to start a fire in a fireplace
Eat a fancy meal that costs more than $150
Places to Visit:
(want to go again) London
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
If you're the cute asian guy with the black coat, silver earing and blue bookbag on 28th street.....my name is Kai...and I think you are HOT! LOL
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I had one hell of a time voting this morning. Despite moving over 18 months ago, having a photo ID with my current address on it AND registering my new address with the Board of Elections AND showing the confirmation letter I received from the Board saying I had successfully changed my address, I was accused by some VERY RUDE poll workers of not having updated my address properly and was denied the ability to vote. After pleading my case I was finally shoved a paper ballot (yet not given any instructions or guidance) and told I could vote by paper. Ugh. I heard Chelsea Clinton had a similar experience today.....so at least I wasn't alone in my voting angst. Anyone else have voting trauma today?
Monday, November 06, 2006
Never say never and never say forever.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Minsan Pa translates to One Moment More. It's the story of a 20 something man (a very HOT 20 something man I might add) who is forced to take care of his family when his father leaves them to be with his mistress. Jerry works as a tour guide in Cebu to earn money to support his mother and siblings and in his work he observes love and attraction in its many forms, forcing him to deal with his own thoughts about marriage and love. The ending is very weak, but the message is still clear and I recommend it to anyone who enjoys foreign movies.
A friend forwarded this link to me and I HAD to share...my date looks like a catch compared to what this woman had to deal with......enjoy!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Today's posts will be about dog names. After I secure a job in Chicago (and get an apartment and get a car) I want to finally get a dog, and I've been thinking about what I'd want to name it. I was hoping to name it something connected to New York, but I haven't really come up with anything I like...here's what I got so far (in no particular order):
Madison (because I work on Madison Avenue)
Manhattan (too long I think)
Verlaine (place I hang out in NY)
Shea (after the Mets stadium)
I'm not in love with any of the names....I think Brooklyn is my fav, though it might be too long...maybe Madison? Anyone have any other suggestions?
Thursday, November 02, 2006
1. Who was your first prom date?
The Taco Bell guy.....
2. Who was your first roommate?
3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?
4. What was your first job?
5. What was your first car?
6. When did you go to your first funeral?
Very young...I think when my parents handyman died.
7. Where was your first kiss?
High School band room....
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
No idea. Maybe Ms. Anderson
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with and how old were you?
High School...I think I was 17
11. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
Kylene! We met in Preschool I think and we just found eachother recently on myspace!
12. Where was your first sleepover?
Kylene's probably lol
13. Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
Beth and Erics
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Turn on the news
16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
17. First tattoo or piercing?
18. First celebrity crush?
Jason Bateman (hangs head in shame)
19. First crush?
20. When was your first detention?
I don't think I had any....
sigh. this sucks.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
**Had to ride in the elevator this morning listening to my fellow elevator patrons discus the Pagan evils of Halloween. Thankfully I work on the 8th floor so the trip was short.
**speaking of Halloween....last night I rode the subway with a fairy, frog, and a group of 4 kids that were either dressed as punks or dressed normally.....It's NY...it's hard to tell sometimes.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
My baked ziti came out REALLY good! The cheese got all nice and brown on top and it tasted SO good! First Chinese, now Italian! What cuisine should I attempt next??!
Hmmm....anyone know if that whole E-coli spinach thing is over?
Wish me luck....I'm gonna need it.
Friday, October 27, 2006
On the upside she seems to have taken to completely ignoring me now. She has blocked me from our inter-company IM program and when I had to ask her a work-related question yesterday in person, she refused to respond to me. She sat at her desk looking at me and would not say a word to me at all.
Guess its time to job hunt....
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
*I really want to go out and take photos, but I've been so unmotivated lately. NY doesn't really have a good Fall season like the Midwest, so I haven't gotten any good outdoor photos lately. I'm going upstate to my cousin's next weekend so perhaps there will be some photo potential up there.
*Upstairs neighbor boy is clearly watching a sporting endeavor of some sort. He keeps pounding/jumping up and down and yelling. It seems to be loosely related to the Cowboys/Giants game I have on so I'm guessing that he's watching that. Can't decide if this is better or worse than the fighting with his gf/headboard banging I usually endure.
*Going home to IL to see friends, family and my puppy in 25 days! VERY excited.
*I think I'm getting sick. I'm seriously considering digging out the Nyquill and having a good knock out sleep.
*Had a fantastic dinner of my favorite biscuits and those soymeat sausage patties. Put two patties and two biscuits in the toaster over for 15 minutes and that's it! Quick, easy and no dishes. That's my kind of cooking!
*Speaking of cooking, I made my first attempt at chicken fried rice last night and it was GOOD! I'm so proud of myself. My first cooking success! A co-worker came over for dinner and loved it too (though I had a moment of panic this morning when I realized she wasn't at work today....I seriously thought I had killed her with my cooking! I text messaged her to make sure she was alive. She was.)
Ok off to bed (at 9!). Hopefully one good night's rest will cure me. I LOVE Nyquill sleep!
Friday, October 20, 2006
And then there's me.
After days of holding my drycleaning hostage (damn inconvenient NYC dry cleaner hours!), I finally was able to retrieve my clothes from the cleaners tonight. Unfortunately today was also the day the clothes I ordered online arrived, meaning I had to make my way home with not only my dry cleaning, but also a rather large JCrew box as well as my purse. During rush hour. In the rain. (Irony of ironies...my dry cleaning consisted of my raincoat). As I fought my way through the turnstile, the hanger of my coat got stuck on one of the bars, flinging me and the box through the turnstile, and leaving the drycleaning hanging on the other side of the turnstile mocking me. Thankfully one of the policeman patrolling the station had seen my very smooth maneuver and passed my drycleaning through to me. I managed to make it on to the train without further incident, aside from accidentally stabbing a fellow train passenger with my coat hanger when I sat down. When I finally made my way to my stop and got off the train I remembered that my stop doesn't have regular turnstiles. It only has the revolving door ones which are impossible to get through when you don't have a free hand to push them with. I managed to go in sideways pushing the bars with my shoulder with my dry cleaning draped over my arm. Until the coat hanger once again got stuck on the bars and since it was rush hour and people were streaming through the exit, my coat went round and round until I was finally able to rescue it. FINALLY I make it home and step into the elevator only to find it has JUST been painted and the walls are still wet, so I stand very still being extra careful not to let anything touch the walls...and then the elevator stops and my floor and I remember that you have to push the door open, it's not one of the ones that open automatically. I manage to get a hand free to touch the faceplate of the door and swing it open and run out (though not without stabbing myself with the coat hanger) and make it to my door. As I throw the drycleaning down on the couch and my purse on the table. It hits me. I could have just WORN THE COAT HOME.
Stylish NYC gal trotting through the streets of Manhattan. I think not.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Hmm...just like being hot makes up for being an ass in the dating world come to think of it.
Lesson Learned: You can be an ass if you are attractive or if you have skill.....at least if you are a man anyway.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
I wonder if the alpha junior high girls are part of the 2%.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
2. Fill coffee pot with water.
3. Spill water on counter while filling reservoir.
4. Clean Counter.
5. Put filter in, add coffee grounds.
6. Spill coffee grounds on counter.
7. Clean counter.
8. Wait for coffee to percolate. Spill coffee on counter while pouring into mug.
9. Clean counter.
Now I know why Starbucks charges so much.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
This cooling off also means they turn on the heat in my apartment, which includes an extremely loud banging/hissing from the radiator in my bedroom. Every night without fail I am startled awake by the sounds. My heart pounds and I leap towards the baseball bat I keep by my bed (hey it's NYC and I live alone!) before realizing the clanking is not a burglar coming to steal my extensive collection of books and Target furniture, but just the sound of the radiator expelling heat. Googling the issue has turned up nothing useful. It's going to be a LOOOONG winter...sigh.
Friday, October 13, 2006
"Thank god its friday...it was a rough week for me..u?"Why yes it WAS a rough week for me. Some guy was an absolute JERK to me and kept calling and harassing me because I didn't want to sleep with him on the FIRST DATE. Ugh.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
I'll never have a child. I'll never own a home. I'll never know what its like to sleep with someone who loves me. I'll never have a job doing something I love. I'll never have a boyfriend....the list of nevers, never ends.
I know that everything on my list is a luxury, that I can only wish for those things because I have so much else in my life that is stable and my needs are more than met. It doesn't make me want them any less though. I yearn to experience a good love once in my life. My one experience loving someone was ugly, partly because he never loved me back and partly because he never respected my feeling and manipulated it to fulfill his own needs. I've never loved someone who loved me back. I have no concept of what it's like, and I fear the absence of it has made me cold to the world.
I was looking through my memory box the other night, and came across this card someone gave me for my last birthday. I don't think I had read it fully when my friend had given it to me and I was struck deeply by the words:
Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. delicious ambiguity....So true and so hard to accept. I'm going to try though..there's beauty in the ambiguity...I just have to find it.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Went to an AMAZING concert for work last night. Most of the concerts I have to attend for work are small venues or clubs, but when our biggest artist played in NY last night, we all got to attend the show (with VIP seating I might add!) and it was amazing. I noticed a cute guy in a blue shirt in our section that I didn't recognize, so I did some major asking around and managed to find out he was a guest of someone in our digital distribution department. I managed to get him an invite to an after-party I attended and ended up chatting him up all night. Unfortunately he is from LA and was only in NY for 24 hours. Sigh. We exchanged some emails this morning, but after the perfunctory "nice meeting you, have a safe trip back to LA", "great meeting you too, I enjoyed the concert and having drinks with you" exchange I'm not sure what else I can say. Oh well...it was nice to chat up a cute boy for a few hours....makes the hangover slightly more bearable.
Monday, October 09, 2006
I wonder if I should warn them of the curse....perhaps a belated housewarming gift of sage to exorcise the demons?
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I met a guy online a few months ago through Craigslist. I had posted something about looking for people to hang out with and he responded. We emailed back and forth for months before he said that even though he’s really apprehensive about meeting people online, he wanted to meet up. He suggested Friday after work…at 10:30pm! Even though it was totally a “I’m not committing to dinner until I see how hot you are” time, I agreed and we met up at a bar near work (I picked there because it was a place I was sure to know someone and the bartenders recognize me. I figured it was a safe place to meet up). We had a few drinks and the conversation was intelligent, yet still flirty. We stayed out pretty late and we finally left when the bar closed. As I started to walk to my train, he held my hand. Even though his train was in the opposite direction, I thought he was just being a gentlemen and walking me to the subway since it was like 3:30am. Once we got to the train I turned to say goodbye and he starts in on how he’s felt this “connection” and he wants to come home with me! I told him that I was sorry if I had given off the impression that I was that kind of girl, but that I do not take people I just met into my home. I thanked him for a nice evening and said goodbye. He kept yammering on about how we were both adults and how he didn’t see what the problem was. There weren’t many people around, so I decided to walk another 10 blocks to Grand Central where there was more likely to be other people around. He wasn’t being forceful in any way and I wasn’t scared, but I thought it best to try to walk to a more crowded location in case he got even more argumentative. By the time we got there it was nearing 4am and I just wanted to get home. I told him again very clearly that I was NOT bringing a stranger into my house and he kissed me goodbye and went on his way. I chalked his behavior up to typical tipsy horniness and still hoped to hear from him the next day.
He text messaged me a few times the next afternoon, mostly baseball trash talk since I’m a Mets fan and he’s a Yankees. It was cute though…he said he was coming back into the city that night (he lives on Long Island) for a party. I told him to have fun and that I’d be home watching the Mets game. That night (technically this morning) at 4:40AM my phone rings and it’s him, telling me he wants to come over. After telling him he was insane, that a guy who respects a woman does NOT call her up for a 5am booty call, he got mad saying he didn’t know why I was playing hard to get. After getting mad, I abruptly got off the phone and told him to go home. About 15 minutes later I get this text message “thanks for making me miss my train. I don’t know why u r playing these mind games”. I was IRATE. I resisted the urge to call him back and tell him off and shut my phone off and tried to go back to sleep.
I REALLY want to send him an email today telling him off, but I wonder if I should just let it go and quit taking his calls. I am so upset….his text message really pissed me off and I want to let him know. What do you guys think, should I tell him off or let it go?
Seriously, are there ANY men out there who respect women anymore??
UPDATE: I just got this text message: "my apologies for the 4am call...i was drunk and did not realize it was inappropriate"
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Yesterday while wielding the MANY boxes of to-be-assembled IKEA furniture up the stairs of my friend's new apartment building, we met two of her neighbors. In the first 30 seconds of being there we met her neighbors. I've lived in my apartment for two years and have only heard the amorous sounds of my (apparently talented) upstairs neighbor and his latest conquest. I've never spoken to any of my neighbors, I don't know their names, occupations or even what they look like. I have a cordial relationship with the contraband cat across the way who sits in the window that looks into my living room, but that's it. No I take that back, during the blackout I met the drunk Irish guy who lives in the building, but apparently in his sober moments he doesn't remember me, since the other morning when I left for work I passed him and he completely ignored me, so I'm gonna say that doesn't count. I would love to know at least the people who live on my floor, but I'm not the type of person to go knocking on doors introducing myself. I guess my building is just the anti-social, loud sex having, cat hiding haven of NYC.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I helped a friend move to Queens from Long Island today. Driving down the roads in LI always makes me miss Illinois. Being in a car, surrounded by nature...it's very similar to the suburbs of Chicago. I miss having a car so much.....I drove a bit today and it felt so nice. Once I pay off this debt I really need to start saving for car....and for moving....I wish all that didn't seem so far away. In the meantime I'll be here eating raspbery smores.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
At this point I would do anything to get a decent date.....
In other news, I got an interview for that $7 an hour intern job. Of course he wants to do it during a WORK day, when I specifically said I couldn't do, which is irritating, but I said yes and I'm taking a 1/2 day off work for it. For $7 an hour.....it's so frustrating. On the one hand I feel like it's good experience since I want to get back into the event planning work after a two year hiatus, but on the other hand I'm not sure if I can work 7 days a week, potentially 60-70 hours a week. I'm already working 50 here and this would be on top of that on the nights and weekends. I'm trying to earn extra money, but at most it's a couple hundred dollars a month, so I'm not sure it's really worth it. Plus I'm wasting a half personal day just to interview, and how much is being an event intern really going to help my resume?? Ugh....I hate job hunting....
Monday, September 25, 2006
A co-worker of mine said that today in a discussion we were having about loneliness. The words really resonated with me. It seems like "growing up" means always waiting for the next version of life to begin. From wanting to be "a big girl" when we are toddlers, to waiting to get our driver's license, waiting to be 21, waiting to graduate college, waiting to get a job, waiting to get married, waiting to have children....everything is about the "next" and not about the now. What scares me about being in my late 20s is that I feel like I'm growing farther away from what I want from life. Actually what scares me is that I have no control over the things I want. After college, the milestones of life aren't controllable or certain. I knew that I would learn to drive, that eventually I would turn 21, that if I worked hard enough and studied diligently I would graduate college, now I no longer "know" if I will hit the next stages of life. I don't know if I will meet someone, I don't know if I will ever have a family. The "nexts" in life are not as certain as they once were. Statistically as I get older, the likelihood of marrying dwindles significantly; physically, my ability to bear children without an increased likelihood of complications decreases; and mentally, my openness to change of routine and solitary habits diminishes, as does my hope. My co-worker has a point though. Waiting for possibility causes stagnation and a narrow view of the definition of what "a good life" is. People always say that after someone dies, "she had a good life", but what does that mean exactly? They followed a formula? education + job + marriage + kids = peaceful death?? What does education - minor academic detour + job + moving across the country for fun + job in completely unrelated field + owning a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" equal?
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
I REALLY need Tivo.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
I'm beginning to feel like a Barbara Ehrenreich experiment.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
My wisdom teeth have been cutting in for over 10 years now. I've dealt with the pain in a variety of ways, downing IB profin every few hours, slathering on the Ambesol and even getting a baby teething ring to hold against my gums, but nothing is working any more. My general health policy is "everything eventually goes away" which has worked for me up until now, but I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with the constant throbbing pain in my gums. If this is what babies go through when they are teething I have absolute sympathy for them. No wonder they scream their heads off.
Maybe it will eventually go away.....
I was going to skip going home for Thanksgiving this year, but I found out that for the first year in a LONG while, everyone in my family is going home this year so if I don't go I'll be the only one not there. I'm not big on the whole Thanksgiving meal...I don't eat meat and my dad puts sausage on the stuffing, so basically I end up travelling 900 miles to eat green beans and a roll. My meal at Christmas is pretty much the same, except sometimes they put bacon in the greenbeans so then I'm there for the applesauce and roll. I get better food on the plane. LOL
Thursday, September 14, 2006
My dad seems to be doing better since his surgery, but I can't shake the feeling that he isn't telling us the whole story, and I worry he's not recovering as well as he claims he is. It's so hard to see your parents get older. I knew it was coming I suppose, but I wasn't prepared. I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to be the strong one who can handle these things, but I'm not and I can't. It's stupid, but it's times like this when I miss having a man around the most...to be the solid one, the one to help me through the hard stuff. When my grandfather died suddenly I fell apart and wasn't coherent for days....my dad, an only child, was a rock. He helped with arrangements and took care of his mom. I know that I don't have it in me to be that strong when the time comes and I worry about what will happen.
Things at work have been stressful lately...I made a mistake at work earlier this week, when the owner of the company brought it to my attention, I swiftly rectified it by sending an email to my contact over there LadyA and had the situation under control. My lawyer boss found out about it and jumped into "fixer" mode and exhausted his contacts at the company I made the error at, who ultimately told him the solution was to send an email to LadyA. He then sent an email to the owner of the company (and 3 other big wigs) saying that I would send an email to LadyA and fix the situation. AFTER I HAD ALREADY SENT AN EMAIL TO LADYA like 3 HOURS BEFORE! Rargh..so now I look incompetant and like I couldn't fix a problem when things got tough. It's so frustrating....I feel like I have no credibility at that company, even though I put in the late hours and never take days off and do everything that is asked. Rargh.
Got Farenheit 9/11 to watch tonight. I probably shouldn't watch it with Aaron in Iraq......but nothing else the Library had caught my eye. I did renew the Clinton biography and get a travel book for DC while I was there, so the Library probably has me on watch for being some sort of liberal political activist. Oh well. I've been called worse.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
It was my friend Caryn on the phone, telling me to turn the TV on. As she started to explain what was happening, terrorism was the furthest thing from my mind. I thought it was a fluke plane malfunction or case of pilot disorientation. Then the second plane hit, and I had to face that this was no accident. A third plane hit the Pentagon and you started to wonder what was next. I was working as an event planner for a major university at the time, and eventually I was called into work to start putting together an impromptu memorial service. With my family in New York and not everyone accounted for yet, I asked to be excused from having to attend and oversee the event. I wasn't ready to memorialize anything yet. I needed to focus on the living. I remember rushing home to watch CNN as soon as I could. Over the coming days and months and now years I've watched the same images over and over again. I've never gotten used to them or become immune to them, and I hope I never do.
I visited NY from Illinois in March of 2002, 6 months after the attack. Flying was still difficult then, but I felt it was important I come out here. CDC was with me on that trip and I remember him dragging me to a computer store in lower Manhattan. We were on the 4th or 5th floor of the store and I remember walking past the window that overlooked the site. The view of the debris and massive hole in a city of wall to wall structures was very jarring and it's an image that sticks with me still. Before I returned to Illinois from that trip, I bought a 9/11 photography book. My favorite photographer James Nachtwey has some of the most striking shots from that day and even though I knew it was a book I would rarely look at because of the emotions it evoked, I thought it was important to own. When I was packing the book wouldn't fit in my suitcase, so I stuffed it in the pocket of my carryon. Back then they were screening your bags at the gate again before you boarded the plane. The TSA woman who went through my bag pulled the book out and started flipping through the pages. I stood there waiting to board the plane as she soaked up the images, just as I had done in the bookstore. With a sad sigh, she turned the last page, returned my book to my bag and I got on the plane.
I live in New York City now. The sound and sight of low flying planes still makes everyone stop and look up, just for a second. I think in this city it always will. We've seen the worst case scenario and we know it could happen again.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
I miss having a creative job. I had to work on a project with the art department this morning and watching my coworker work in photoshop and illustrator had me wistful for the days of having a job that made me "think". Once again the ugly notion of returning to school started to seep into my brain, but I wouldn't know what to major in, I can't afford it and a million other practical reasons flooded my momentary wistful thought. An evening or weekend continuing ed class may be more attainable, but it seems a waste of money if I'll never use the skills.....I should at least take Photoshop though, but first I need a new computer. A helpful hint, don't drop your laptop onto your hardwood floors....they don't bounce well.
I got another wedding annoucement from a guy I new in college today.....just furthering my belief that my quest for marriage and a family is unattainable. I wish I wasn't so sensitive to seeing people in love, or couples on the street. It's something that has gotten worse the older I get. I feel like an awful person, seeing other people be happy shouldn't make me sad, but it does. I saw two people in Grand Central the other morning making out like teenagers (and believe me they were NOT teenagers) and I tried to remember the last time I was even kissed....needless to say it's been a LONG while. I just can't shake the "it's never gonna happen" feeling and it's hard not to let it get me down.
It doesn't help things that I've been going through an artistic slump lately...post-London I haven't been able to get a good shot of ANYTHING and it's upsetting me more than I like to admit. Taking photos is the only thing I feel I've ever been even a little bit good at and if I lose that I'm not sure where that leaves me....
Hmm maybe I just have the post-summer blues.....anyone know a good cure?
Monday, September 04, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Did some more work on my photo site today. I added some more photos from London and a link to my post on inspiration. I changed the date of this inspiration post so it's in the archives, but wanted a link on the main page. I'm thinking I may need to move off blogger and get a new site, but I have no idea how to do all that, so I'll have to do some reading. Looks like it's time for me to brush up on my HTML.......Anyone got any good book recommendations for learning website stuff?
Friday, September 01, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
My friend at work who I chat with daily about photography is leaving the company and tomorrow is his last day. He inspires me to keep at it and always gives me good feedback. Hopefully we'll keep in touch, but it's not the same as being able to walk downstairs and chat and share photos. :-( Photo friend will be missed.
Now that I've crossed London off my travel list I've been thinking about where I want my next international trip to be....I've narrowed it down to either Paris or Thailand. I think I could get amazing photos in either place, but I'm leaning towards trying for Thailand first.....Any of my blog readers been there?