Monday, March 31, 2008

Seen in the newspaper this morning

an ad for the New York Sports Club

$29 to join!
*that's about $79,971 less than Spitzer's "workout" budget


Sunday, March 30, 2008

Some Days

There are some days I find myself looking at my life and wondering if this is it for me.

So many aspects of my life are wonderful. I've created a home filled with books and art and knowledge. I have a comfy bed. I have great friends. I have a decent job. I live in an exciting city and have traveled all over the world. I wish that was enough for me, I wish I appreciated it more and felt fulfilled by it all, but I don't.

My independence is one of the foundations of my personality. I've always found it hard to relate to other people and have strong bonds. I don't know it if comes from being adopted or if its just inherent to who I am, but relationships of all forms have always been difficult for me. I doubt my capability to be a good friend, sister, daughter and of course girlfriend.

I haven't dealt with the Eharmony Boy/Tennis Guy situation at all. Tennis Guy and I are still discussing where we stand and I've been up front with him about Eharmony Boy. I've told Eharmony Boy I want to slow down but not because there's someone else....mostly because I'm not sure if there is someone else. 6 months apart didn't make the problems Tennis Guy and I had before go away. We both acknowledge that we need some time to talk them through, but unfortunately our schedules don't allow for much, if any together time. Right now the soonest I may see him is in 5 months and I'm truly not sure if I have it in me to wait.

The bigger question is though, "Am I capable of relationships in general?". I am fiercely independent. I don't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone. I don't handle obligation or expectations well at all. I'm afraid I lack the tools to love.

I'm not sure how one reconciles a feeling of loneliness, with an inability to love. I wish I didn't care. I wish I accepted that my nature may mean that I'm not going to have the "typical" life that many other people have.

I wish I just accepted that my life is full and happy the way it is. I have Tivo. What more can I ask for?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Work Games...

There's a guy we deal with at work who is EXTREMELY chatty. He's a sweet guy, but if you get on the phone with him, he will tell you his entire life story. For example, yesterday he called me and told me (in detail, starting with the GROWING OF THE TOMATOES) all about what he had for dinner. In general people try to avoid his calls, but it's not always possible. It's become habit for us to transfer his calls around the office to other people.

In a fit of pure genius I came up with the Eddie (not his real name) Drinking Game. Here are the rules.

1) If you try to pass Eddie's call onto another person, but they refuse to take the call, then they own you a drink.

2) If you take the call, but are able to get off the phone in under 90 seconds, then the person who transfered the call to you also owes you a drink.

So far only ONE person has been able to get a drink under rule 2 and it wasn't me! In fact it's ME who owes that person a drink!

It's a great game and almost everyone in the building is playing. There is a LOT of drinking going on under rule 1 let me tell you.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Tequila kicked my ass last night.

'nough said.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Don't google the new guy at work's name unless you REALLY want to know everything about him.......

and uh also don't forward what you did find to all your coworkers so they can laugh too....and um the executives.

Take your crazy videos OFF Youtube if you are job hunting people!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Nothing to do with Easter...

Black satin (aka slippery) underwear and a pair of drawstring pants that are too big since I’ve lost weight do not make a good combo. I waited too long between trips to the laundromat and that was all I had left to wear when I did laundry tonight. When I bent down to take my clothes out of the dryer the guy behind me whistled.

I really need my own washing machine.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


He's back. Everything feels right again.

and I'm currently ignoring the fact that I have to do something about Eharmony boy.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Absence of Pickles

wow that could mean a LOT of things...but in this case I mean it literally.

I took my weekly trip to my local grocery store this afternoon. I needed a few essentials, bread, cheese, chocolate...and pickles. I was able to get everything on my list, except the pickles. There were NONE in the store. The shelf where they usually are had an extensive selection of relish, but no pickles. I searched the entire store and they were nowhere to be found! It's a pickle mystery!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Stand by Your Man?

Yesterday news broke regarding the NY Governor/Prostitution scandal and being the news addict I am, I've been watching the coverage endlessly. As I watched his wife stand next to him during his press conference announcement, I was reminded by how many politician's wives I've seen stand by their men during announcements such as these. There was the NJ governor who announced he was gay....and his wife appeared with him during the press conference and of course Hilary standing by Bill during his own announcement.

Now I'm certainly not a politician and I've never been married, so I fully admit, I'm no expert on either politics or marriage, but as an outsider, I can say that as a woman, I find it offensive when these wives stand next to their men during these announcements. It has nothing to do with them staying together (as far as I'm concerned that's a private family matter to be worked out between the couple), but I feel like these wives who attend and support their men during the announcement of his wrong doing are in a way sending the message to other women that it's ok if your men cheats/lies etc. I find it makes the woman look foolish and even says to the world that his priorities are more important than her own and her family.

Any thoughts?

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Sometimes I wonder......

how long it will be before I stop waiting for him and get over it.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Which kind are you?

I live in NYC and see hundreds of people daily. As the weather has been unseasonably warm, I'm noticing that people seem to fall in 3 distinct categories of dress. Which type are you?

1) The people who dress according to the temperature. These people check the weather daily and wear their lighter coats and jackets, even though it may be February and SHOULD be cold.

2) The people who dress according to the date. These people will be seen wearing their hats, gloves, scarves and heavy winter coats, even when the temp is to be in the 60s, just because it's early March and to them Early March=COLD.

3). The over-reacters. These are the people wearing shorts, tank tops and no coat, just because they heard it was supposed to be "warm" and they are tired of their winter clothes.

Interestingly, I fall into category one while in NYC, but for some reason when traveling to LA and other warm climates in the Winter months, I find myself unable to dress appropriately. I always bring clothes that are MUCH too heavy for the weather out there, so I find myself being a category two when I travel.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I truly have no understanding of men. After 3 and a half months with virtually no contact TG sent me an email that said "I miss you". I responded saying that I too missed him and that I've been thinking lately that I miss having people in my life who inspire me and challenge me and that he certainly is one of those people.
And now 4 days have gone by and no response.
I guess a part of me thought that this was a tiny glimmer of hope that he missed dating me, but as the days go on I'm realizing that he missed only the option of talking to me. After our break up I asked him not to contact me again and I can only surmise that he missed having the friend option on the table. Once I responded and opened up the option of him talking to me again, he got what he wanted and promptly went back into hiding.
I feel broken up with all over again. Practically, I know that I'm fine, that I have a good full life without him, but for now, I can't help but be a little sad again.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

It's 60 degrees in NY!

- It's 60 degrees out today! It was very odd to walk out of the house with just a light jacket after the past few weeks of wearing a winter coat. Could it be that Spring is just around the corner???!

- My boy life is a little wacky these days....Eharmony boy seems to be wanting to get a little more serious than I'd like (though he is very understanding when I tell him I need more time) and with the recent "I miss you" email from Tennis Guy, I'm even more confused. I don't think (though truthfully a part of me does hope) that Tennis Guy is looking to get back together, but the whole situation has just reminded me that I'm not really healed from that relationship and probably shouldn't be in another one with someone else right now. I need some time to just sort things out and figure all this out.

- I am almost finished reading "Eat Pray Love" was good, but I'm not sure it really lived up to all the hype. There were definitely passages that will stick with me though, so maybe it's one of those books where you don't realize its impact until it sinks in. I'm not sure what I'll read next....I have a book on the unfairness of the election process and one about the Supreme Court that I've been wanting to read. Maybe I'll start on the election book, though I have to admit I'm election coveraged out these days. I doubt that will keep me from being glued to the TV tonight waiting for the results of today's primaries thought. I'm a CNN junkie!

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Be Careful What You Wish For.....

I made a joke in early January to my co-workers about 2008 being the year of recycling. I was going green and recycling everything, plastic, metal, paper even men!

The cosmos apparently heard me and brought me back Eharmony Boy.....

and now, after more than 3 months Tennis Guy has contact me again.

I was joking people! I didn't REALLY mean I wanted to recycle men this year! I'm all for "going green" but seriously.