Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
So many aspects of my life are wonderful. I've created a home filled with books and art and knowledge. I have a comfy bed. I have great friends. I have a decent job. I live in an exciting city and have traveled all over the world. I wish that was enough for me, I wish I appreciated it more and felt fulfilled by it all, but I don't.
My independence is one of the foundations of my personality. I've always found it hard to relate to other people and have strong bonds. I don't know it if comes from being adopted or if its just inherent to who I am, but relationships of all forms have always been difficult for me. I doubt my capability to be a good friend, sister, daughter and of course girlfriend.
I haven't dealt with the Eharmony Boy/Tennis Guy situation at all. Tennis Guy and I are still discussing where we stand and I've been up front with him about Eharmony Boy. I've told Eharmony Boy I want to slow down but not because there's someone else....mostly because I'm not sure if there is someone else. 6 months apart didn't make the problems Tennis Guy and I had before go away. We both acknowledge that we need some time to talk them through, but unfortunately our schedules don't allow for much, if any together time. Right now the soonest I may see him is in 5 months and I'm truly not sure if I have it in me to wait.
The bigger question is though, "Am I capable of relationships in general?". I am fiercely independent. I don't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone. I don't handle obligation or expectations well at all. I'm afraid I lack the tools to love.
I'm not sure how one reconciles a feeling of loneliness, with an inability to love. I wish I didn't care. I wish I accepted that my nature may mean that I'm not going to have the "typical" life that many other people have.
I wish I just accepted that my life is full and happy the way it is. I have Tivo. What more can I ask for?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
In a fit of pure genius I came up with the Eddie (not his real name) Drinking Game. Here are the rules.
1) If you try to pass Eddie's call onto another person, but they refuse to take the call, then they own you a drink.
2) If you take the call, but are able to get off the phone in under 90 seconds, then the person who transfered the call to you also owes you a drink.
So far only ONE person has been able to get a drink under rule 2 and it wasn't me! In fact it's ME who owes that person a drink!
It's a great game and almost everyone in the building is playing. There is a LOT of drinking going on under rule 1 let me tell you.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
and uh also don't forward what you did find to all your coworkers so they can laugh too....and um the executives.
Take your crazy videos OFF Youtube if you are job hunting people!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Black satin (aka slippery) underwear and a pair of drawstring pants that are too big since I’ve lost weight do not make a good combo. I waited too long between trips to the laundromat and that was all I had left to wear when I did laundry tonight. When I bent down to take my clothes out of the dryer the guy behind me whistled.
I really need my own washing machine.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I took my weekly trip to my local grocery store this afternoon. I needed a few essentials, bread, cheese, chocolate...and pickles. I was able to get everything on my list, except the pickles. There were NONE in the store. The shelf where they usually are had an extensive selection of relish, but no pickles. I searched the entire store and they were nowhere to be found! It's a pickle mystery!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Now I'm certainly not a politician and I've never been married, so I fully admit, I'm no expert on either politics or marriage, but as an outsider, I can say that as a woman, I find it offensive when these wives stand next to their men during these announcements. It has nothing to do with them staying together (as far as I'm concerned that's a private family matter to be worked out between the couple), but I feel like these wives who attend and support their men during the announcement of his wrong doing are in a way sending the message to other women that it's ok if your men cheats/lies etc. I find it makes the woman look foolish and even says to the world that his priorities are more important than her own and her family.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
1) The people who dress according to the temperature. These people check the weather daily and wear their lighter coats and jackets, even though it may be February and SHOULD be cold.
2) The people who dress according to the date. These people will be seen wearing their hats, gloves, scarves and heavy winter coats, even when the temp is to be in the 60s, just because it's early March and to them Early March=COLD.
3). The over-reacters. These are the people wearing shorts, tank tops and no coat, just because they heard it was supposed to be "warm" and they are tired of their winter clothes.
Interestingly, I fall into category one while in NYC, but for some reason when traveling to LA and other warm climates in the Winter months, I find myself unable to dress appropriately. I always bring clothes that are MUCH too heavy for the weather out there, so I find myself being a category two when I travel.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
- My boy life is a little wacky these days....Eharmony boy seems to be wanting to get a little more serious than I'd like (though he is very understanding when I tell him I need more time) and with the recent "I miss you" email from Tennis Guy, I'm even more confused. I don't think (though truthfully a part of me does hope) that Tennis Guy is looking to get back together, but the whole situation has just reminded me that I'm not really healed from that relationship and probably shouldn't be in another one with someone else right now. I need some time to just sort things out and figure all this out.
- I am almost finished reading "Eat Pray Love"....it was good, but I'm not sure it really lived up to all the hype. There were definitely passages that will stick with me though, so maybe it's one of those books where you don't realize its impact until it sinks in. I'm not sure what I'll read next....I have a book on the unfairness of the election process and one about the Supreme Court that I've been wanting to read. Maybe I'll start on the election book, though I have to admit I'm election coveraged out these days. I doubt that will keep me from being glued to the TV tonight waiting for the results of today's primaries thought. I'm a CNN junkie!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
The cosmos apparently heard me and brought me back Eharmony Boy.....
and now, after more than 3 months Tennis Guy has contact me again.
I was joking people! I didn't REALLY mean I wanted to recycle men this year! I'm all for "going green" but seriously.