Thursday, September 07, 2006

Crazy Thursday

Boss is back at work....the day started off absolutely insane, but got quieter as the day went on. My brain has been on sensory overload all day and I'm looking forward to getting home and being in a no-music, phone off, no email beeping in environment for awhile. Thank goodness Friday is near. I had plans to go to the DADA exhibit at MOMA this weekend but my friend I was going with blew me off so I doubt I'll go. A friend of a friend is having a jazz concert on Sunday I may go to....I need to learn to resist the urge to spend entire weekends at home in bed....getting out at least once in 48 hours is good for the soul.

I miss having a creative job. I had to work on a project with the art department this morning and watching my coworker work in photoshop and illustrator had me wistful for the days of having a job that made me "think". Once again the ugly notion of returning to school started to seep into my brain, but I wouldn't know what to major in, I can't afford it and a million other practical reasons flooded my momentary wistful thought. An evening or weekend continuing ed class may be more attainable, but it seems a waste of money if I'll never use the skills.....I should at least take Photoshop though, but first I need a new computer. A helpful hint, don't drop your laptop onto your hardwood floors....they don't bounce well.

I got another wedding annoucement from a guy I new in college today.....just furthering my belief that my quest for marriage and a family is unattainable. I wish I wasn't so sensitive to seeing people in love, or couples on the street. It's something that has gotten worse the older I get. I feel like an awful person, seeing other people be happy shouldn't make me sad, but it does. I saw two people in Grand Central the other morning making out like teenagers (and believe me they were NOT teenagers) and I tried to remember the last time I was even kissed....needless to say it's been a LONG while. I just can't shake the "it's never gonna happen" feeling and it's hard not to let it get me down.

It doesn't help things that I've been going through an artistic slump I haven't been able to get a good shot of ANYTHING and it's upsetting me more than I like to admit. Taking photos is the only thing I feel I've ever been even a little bit good at and if I lose that I'm not sure where that leaves me....

Hmm maybe I just have the post-summer blues.....anyone know a good cure?

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