As I got my suitcase out tonight it hit me. I'm not packing to see Tennis Guy. Instead of packing t-shirts and skirts for a warm beach holiday, I'm digging out the snow hats, gloves and my warmest coat. A wave of sadness washed over me yet again and even though I have been feeling better, I started once again to miss him.
Last night I posted a few photos of me at our office holiday party on one of my photo sites. Not 5 minutes later he had posted a comment to it, "I always said you were beautiful. It looks like you are having fun. I'm not nearly as drunk as I should be". I stared at the words for nearly 30 minutes last night. A part of me wishes it was a cryptic way of saying he missed me, but I know in my heart it's not.
I know setbacks are ok and they are bound to happen, but as I continue putting sweaters and wool socks in my bag I can't help but feel more and more sad and alone.
It sucks that it takes this long to get over one person not wanting you.