Despite fighting a nasty beginning of the year cold, I went out to dinner with a co-worker (a cute Asian one I have a bit of a crush on!!!) and some of his friends last night. I didn't know a single person other than my co-worker so it was a bit awkward, but it was ok. I spent most of the evening talking to my co-worker's brother (very cute until I found out he was only 22!), but I did manage to be social and interact with everyone at some point. The whole large group thing (there were 8 of us) is just not for me. I've always avoided parties and group outings......I'm not really sure why. I've never been a people person. Social gatherings and even the most basic of human interactions makes me nauseous. I've been that way for as long as I can remember. I wonder if its because I moved around a lot as a child, I went to two different grade schools, two different high schools.....I'd make friends and then shortly thereafter have to say goodbye. The age of cell phones and email wasn't born yet, so inevitably I'd lose touch. You get tired of always starting over, always being afraid of having to say goodbye so you just stop trying. The four years I went to college were the longest I had ever lived in one place consecutively. I never learned how to form relationships with people that lasted, I learned to fear the inevitable goodbye and avoid it. Even now, in control of the fate of my address I still can't let go of the past and I keep myself at a distance from people and relationships of any kind. I wonder if to me people will always = pain...........