Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wasn't this an episode of Friends? UPDATED

Since returning from my trip last night, I have noticed a peculiar squeak/beep (hereinafter referred to as a "Squeap") in my apartment. It is a single loud chirp that occurs at irregular intervals and appears to be coming from the bathroom. Initially I thought it was the smoke alarm in the hallway, but I took it down, removed the batteries and still the sound continues. I thought perhaps the smoke alarm had an internal back-up battery, so I spent an hour trying to rip open the plastic cover trying to locate it, but was unable to break it open. Eventually I gave up, closed the bedroom door and took sleeping pills in an attempt to sleep through it. When I woke up this morning, the Squeap was still going. I am unsure of how to proceed at this point. If anyone knows of a good Squeap exorcist, let me know.

I came home from work tonight determined to put an end to the Squeap. Using a flathead screwdriver, pliers and determination I did manage to pry the cover off the smoke alarm. However, there was no back-up battery to be found. In complete desperation I attempted to smash what I thought was the speaker, but to no avail, the Squeap continued. It was around this time that I finally started to accept that the sound was not coming from the smoke detector. I got out my drafting table stool (the tallest thing in my apartment) climbed up and searched every corner of my apartment for the Squeap source. FINALLY I found it in a dark hallway…a carbon monoxide detector hidden on top of the picture rail that surrounds the walls of my apartment about a foot below the ceiling. Patting myself on the back for being so ingenious (and ignoring the fact it took me more than 24 hours) I tasted victory. That is until I attempted to get the carbon monoxide detector off the wall. I yanked, I twisted, I squeezed, but it Squeaped in my face in utter defiance. Since I couldn’t tell if it was hooked into the building security system, I didn’t want to risk taking my softball bat to it and ending the ordeal. Not to be defeated, I managed to break the flimsy plastic clips holding the battery cover on and remove it (luckily it was NOT hooked into the security system…or at least if it was, nobody cared). Victory! Squeap – 0, Kai – 1. Of course now I have a smashed smoke detector and a broken carbon monoxide detector to replace, but it’s a small price to pay for the end of the Squeaping.

You know…I kind of miss it.

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