Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The Blues

I just can't seem to snap out of my latest bought of self-hatred. I go through these phases, as I think we all do, of not feeling good enough, attractive enough, smart enough etc., etc., but this time I can't seem to snap out of it. I feel horrendously unattractive and overweight and am embarrassed when I see an attractive man on the street or subway because I don't want them to look at me. I know that a foray into online dating usually brings about these feelings, for the task of finding a match whose profile doesn't specifically state that they ONLY date women who are fit/skinny is a daunting one. It's hard not to feel completely worthless when 98% of the single male population is basically deeming you unworthy of having a conversation with because you are a size 12 and not a 2.



Jenn said...

Nothin' wrong with a size 12, sistah. But I know what you mean. And luckily, you're right, the blahs do pass.

Alison said...

Ya got that right, Jenn. There is NOTHING wrong with a size 12. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Oh, Kai. New York City is so hard. The blues do pass, though. I wish you could see you as other people obviously do.

In June, you need to sign up to be an onsite dog volunteer with the NYC ASPCA. Oh yes you do. Because I think you'll feel much better when you know just how needed you are. Sadly, you missed the March sign-up. But June? It's just around the corner.

Read this:

Doggy Mama said...

I have gone through these phases, too. And they aren't fun at all. I hope you get over the hump soon... until then, we're here for you!

Kai said...

Jenn - Hopefully they do pass soon!

Alison - That's a great idea...I hadn't thought of volunteering at the ASPCA, I'm definitely going to sign up in June!

DM - I wonder if dogs ever get the blues? Do they walk past mirrors and think, "Oh man have I've got to play fetch today and work off those Kibbles & Bits I ate today"? :-)

Doggy Mama said...

Haha! Good question! If I ever find one of my doggies running on my treadmill downstairs, I guess we'll know the answer! ;)