I'm pretty much the same as yesterday. Still just feeling "off". I'm too afraid to go to the doctor this close to my trip, but I've been researching doctors covered by my insurance and there happens to be one literally at the end of my block I'm considering for when I return. I'm worried about a possible language issue (she's Romanian), but unfortunately in my neighborhood, there were no female doctors educated in the U.S. to choose from. **I have NOTHING against doctors from other countries at all and don't doubt their capabilities one bit, but this experience is going to be a rough one for me and I fear that adding language/communication issues will push me over the edge.
I wish more people understood the absolute crippling fear I have of doctors/dentists, etc. The only thing I can compare it to is what a dog probably experiences when you take them to the vet; the shaking, crying and overwhelming "flight" reaction.....except theres the complete embarrassment factor as well, which is actually my primary anxiety about the experience. It's very much a vulnerability issue, I just can NOT bring myself to get nearly naked, have awkward, embarrassing conversation with a stranger that ends in the possibility of them telling you all the things that are wrong with you. It is terrifying and I am in complete awe of people who can just make appointments without having to dial 30 times because you are shaking so much you can't hit the right numbers.
Hopefully my mysterious ailment will be cured by some time in the sun, sleeping in and relaxing by the ocean. 3 days until Mexico!!!!!!