Be Good

while I'm gone. I'm heading off for some fun in the sun!

What (non) laboring will you all be doing for Labor Day?

How to get over an ex....

Gin & Tonics and pancakes.

It's oddly very satisfying.

Is life telling me to go back to the gym?

Since I quit the gym, I've taken to doing nightly walks through my neighborhood. The tactic has been effective for me and I almost look forward to the 45 minutes of no Blackerry, no interruptions, just me and my Keith Olbermann podcast. However, I don't live in the greatest neighborhood and have encountered dog attacks, a police raid and wayward badminton birdies when I accidentally walked through a game.

Yesterday's sight though is enough to take me off the streets and heading back to the gym.

I saw a woman wearing a black skirt and shirt and a very thick snakeskin belt. Until I got closer and realized she had a HUGE LIVE SNAKE around her waist.

I'm calling the New York Sports Club first thing tomorrow and renewing my membership. Dogs, drug raids and flying objects I can handle. SNAKES I can not.

Cross posted at The Active Academic

Retail Therapy

After two days of crying on the train during my morning commute out of fear I will unexpectedly run into Tennis Guy, a friend and I engaged in some major retail therapy last night. I had wanted to get some things for LA and boy did I ever. Here's what I ended up with.

1 bottle of Jadore by Dior perfume
1 bottle of Euphoria Blossom by Calvin Klein (I liked both and couldn't decide)
1 pair of capri jeans
1 sexy red shirt (side note, doesn't that model scary??)
I pair of SUPER cute jeans that actually fit (I'm down 10 pounds now!!!!)
I pair of work-out capris
1 blazer.....fall will be here sooner than we know!

Whew! It was quite a spree, but I hadn't been shopping in a LONG while and it definitely helped clear my head and get me excited about LA.

Remind me of this when my credit card bill comes. Yikes.

A Year

It's almost a year to the day that I met Tennis Guy for the first time at my favorite little bar around the corner from work. I hadn't dressed up or even done my hair that night. I wasn't expecting to meet someone whose memories I would still be holding on to a year later. 3 apple martinis later I was intrigued. I knew he was only in town for a few more days, but I couldn't help myself, I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to more than kiss him. We left the bar to part our separate ways and he walked me to my train stop. I figured I would never see him again, but I couldn't help but grab and hold his hand as we walked. On the corner where we were to part ways, I looked at him to say goodbye and I knew I had to kiss him. Apparently he felt the same because before I could move, he kissed me and our intense chemistry became apparent, a mere 2 hours after meeting. We said goodbye and I had no idea if I would see him again.

By the time I got home, I had several text messages from him. He wanted to know everything about me as well and I knew our story wasn't done. I saw him every free moment he had in those few days he was still in New York. He left the country after that, and my phone bill grew exponentially with international calls and text messages until he came back to visit me a few weeks later. The weekend we spent together was beyond amazing. He left the country again after that but we still spoke often and kept in touch daily. It had only been a few months, but marriage was spoken of and for the first time in my life, the concept didn't frighten me. Nothing in my life had felt so right and I thought I'd found my "person".

We went off and on for months until I discovered in March that he was seeing someone else. I was devastated and the wounds are still raw.

Practically I know I shouldn't miss him and cry about him any more, and I probably don't miss him as much as I miss the feeling I had with him, the comfort, the security...the looking towards the future with happiness and possibility instead of the usual dread, but I do still cry about him more than I should. I have a good head on my shoulders, I don't know how I could have been so wrong about him. I'm afraid I will never trust my feelings about people again and I've given up on finding love.

The US Open is next month and he'll be in town again. I don't know if he will try to contact me again, but I know I can't handle it, so I've arranged to be out of NY and will be going to Los Angeles.

They say after break-ups it gets easier over time, but it's been a year and I'm still waiting for the easier. Any day now I'm hoping.

Protests and Things

There is currently a very wild (wild in a jovial, band playing, dancing way not wild in a guns and projectile food products way) "Writer's Guild against American Idol" protest going on outside my window at work.

Apparently the line between "party" and "protest" is a very fine one.

For LGG

This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The
walls are so steep he can't get out.

A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help
me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole
and moves on.

Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm
down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a
prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?'
And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now
we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here
before and I know the way out.'

Not bad.

Last night's meet up with the wrong number guy went well. No romantic chemistry, but definitely an enjoyable evening with good conversation. He is quite a bit older than I thought (late 40s) but I still think he's someone I would occasionally catch a drink with just to hang out.

All in all a fairly good night for someone I "met" on the phone.

A Random Encounter.....

A few days ago I was at work and my phone rang. I answered and it was a wrong number. The guy was very apologetic and we ended up chatting for a few minutes. Our conversation was fun and before we hung up he said he really enjoyed talking to me.

Today my phone rang again. It was wrong number guy. He said he really enjoyed our conversation the other day and chatting with someone with "intelligence and quick wit" and wanted to know if I would have drinks with him on Friday. I figured why not, as long as I got to pick the place (so I could pick the local bar I frequent near work, where I know the owner and all the Friday night bartenders in case this guy turns out to be creepy).

And that's how I ended up with a date with a stranger for Friday night. I'll let you know how it goes.

Some Love

I feel like I've had a bit of a negative attitude lately and my posts have bit of a bummer so I'm declaring today a Monday of Love. Here's some things I love!

1) Tivo. I love being able to watch what I want, when I want and can I just say that being able to pause live TV just ROCKS!

2) My Michael Kors jeans. No matter what else I'm wearing, I always feel just a bit sexy in these jeans.

3) Trader Joes. I love this grocery store. It's cheap, has good quality food, and I like that they make a point to list where the food came from on the price label. I definitely eat much better during the week when I make a point to go to this store, even though it's an hour train ride from my house.

4) My Blackberry. Maps, the internet, my email, text messages and my calendar all in one place. I'm addicted to being connected 24/7.

5) Chocolate Peppermint Stick Luna Bars. I eat one these for breakfast almost every morning. They taste amazing and it feels like such a decadent way to start the day. Plus they go great with coffee!

6) Making bread from scratch. Armed with nothing more than a wooden spoon, I love the entire bread making process, especially the way the house smells during baking and of course eating that first piece right out of the oven. Screw the no carb diets, sometimes you just need a hot steamy roll with butter.

What do YOU love?

Sucks.

I found out last night my cousin's wife has very advanced breast cancer. They are doing the radical and trying everything they can. There is some hope, but a very very cautious hope. My heart aches for her, my cousin and their 3 year old son.

Sucks. :-(

Today will be better.....

I've been beating myself up for falling off the weight loss wagon yesterday. I ended up gaining weight (though not a lot) back and got uber frustrated that I failed miserably at Day 1 of my running program. Day 1 was supposed to be 10 reps of run 1 min, walk 2. I made it through that cycle only 4 times before having to stop. I'm going to try again tonight though if the weather holds up tonight. I'm also going to be super-strict on my meals today and hopefully I'll be ok by the time Monday's weigh-in rolls around. At this point I'm hoping for a break-even week.

Crash.

Crashed and burned on my diet today. Attempted to start a beginner running program tonight, failed miserably and only made it 1/3 of the way through. Feeling like a failure in too many areas of life.

If you are looking for me, I'll be under the covers in bed until tomorrow. I'm declaring this a do-over day.

Bullets of Non-Energy

- Watched Running with Scissors this weekend. Very strange movie. I would not recommend it. I think I just don't have the patience for movies anymore.

- Survived week 1 of the Twitter Weightloss Challenge and lost a total of 3.2 pounds last week and 7 pounds total since I started my health kick. 20 pounds and 11 weeks to go.

- My first foray into making pasta sauce from scratch went fabulously! I fell asleep and left it in the crock pot a bit longer than necessary, but I caught it in time and was impressed at how easy and tasty it was. I just threw a large can of organic whole peeled tomatoes, 1 medium can of organic tomato sauce, 1 can of burgundy wine and olive oil flavored diced tomatoes, some italian seasoning and 1/2 bag of soy meat crumbles in a crockpot and let it do its thing! I froze a bunch of it and will definitely be making this again. YUM!

Not much else to report....life has been pretty boring lately. Here's hoping for some excitement this week or else I'm going to bore you guys to death.

I didn't have a speech prepared....

The always wise and knowledgeable Seeking Solace at Thoughts from the Waiting Room has deemed me worthy of this:

I feel quite special!! And part of my award means that I get to pass it along to 7 of you guys that I deem special!

First, the rules:
1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Add links to these blogs on your blog.
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

And now the special peeps:

1. New blogger friend: Christi at Christi's Collections! She posts some FANTASTIC recipes (though not always healthy!!!). She's having a recipe contest this month so stop by and contribute a recipe if you have a fav!

2) Funny girl: CCW at Crazy Cat Woman! She's currently on vaca, but returning soon. She cracks me up on a daily basis and her honesty is very endearing. She rocks!

3) Flamingo Lover: Cheeky at Snow Trapped Southern Girl! This woman has more energy than anyone I know! Whether she's scrappin', concert going, or just hanging with her kids, she's a hoot!

4) Crock Pot Enthusiast: Stephanie at A Year of CrockPotting! She wins for her pure dedication to using her crock pot EVERY day of the year and keeping up with it.

5) Next up: The New Girl! Because she has the CUTEST. CHILD. EVER. and tells stories that make my eyes water, either out of laughter, sadness or both.

6) For her Style: Stephanie at Mama Still Wears Gucci! She cracks me up with her perspective on things and her tales.

7) And now I'm cheating and sort of voting for myself again since I'm a contributor, but I'm voting for EVERYONE who posts at The Active Academic! The ladies (and I think a few gents) were gracious enough to allow me to join them in their weight loss endeavors, even though I'm not an academic, and the tips and support there really motivates me!

Congrats to all the winners!!!

A Weekend of Cooking

Despite the fact, that I'm starting to drop some real pounds, just through major portion control and walking/pilates, I've planned myself a weekend of cooking! I never wanted to "diet" and restrict myself, so my rule is I can eat anything I want, I just can't OVER eat. On the menu this weekend is: homemade Spinach Pizza on a whole wheat crust (dough is rising in the fridge as we speak!) tonight, tomorrow I'll be making pasta sauce from scratch in my inaugural use of the crockpot and Sunday will be Chicken and brown rice in a soy vey marinade.

Let's hope I can work all this off before Monday morning's weigh-in!

100 Things...2 years later....

Someone recently left me a comment on my 100 things post and I found myself re-reading it. It's funny how 2 years and 2 months later so much of it has changed and how much is no longer true! Here's an update for you!!

1. I love dark chocolate covered strawberries. - Still very VERY true.
2. I am an extremely picky eater, there are very few things I will eat. - MUCH less true. Even though I still don't eat most meat, I've really broadened my diet considerably.
3. I bought my first purse at the age of 26. - Still true!
4. I broke a rib once falling off a chair I was standing on trying to get a book off a bookshelf in my parents' library. - Still true!
5. I can't live without post-it flags. - Still true! I love these things!
6. I never wear make-up, but my toenails are always painted red. - Still mostly true, right now they are more of a deep plum.
7. I hate flying during daylight and try only to fly late at night. - Still mostly true. I'll fly any time of the day or night, but if I choice, I still prefer flying at night.
8. I went to two different high schools and will never forgive my dad for moving me during those years. - Still true! SO SO true.
9. I am a white girl who thinks Asian men are HOT. - Still true!
10. I have never in my 27 years had anyone ever call me their girlfriend. - Not true Eharmony boy has referred to me as his girlfriend before.
11. I don't understand the "high" people say they get when they work out. Working out doesn't make me "high" it makes me hungry. - Still true!
12. It bums me out when people don't notice when I get new glasses. - Still true!
13. I get new glasses at least twice a year. - Still true!
14. Taking photographs is the only thing I've ever felt good at. - Still true!
15. I love the Food Network, even though I can't cook anything. - Not true at all. I'm an excellent cook now and make almost everything I eat from scratch.
16. I've seriously considered hiring someone to cook dinner for me so I don't have to eat out 7 days a week. - See above.
17. I have a huge crush on Anderson Cooper. - Still SO SO very true!
18. I make a huge deal out of my birthday and like it when other people do too. - Still true, but I think once my next birthday rolls around, it will be less true.
19. I went through my college graduation ceremony, even though I didn't technically graduate until two years later. - Still true!
20. I've had the same bathing suit since I was 16...and I've only worn it a handful of times. - Recent trips to tropical locations have rendered this untrue. I now own 3 NEW suits.
21. I like swimming but hate having to be that naked in public. - Still true!
22. I have a 401k, but have no idea what it is or how to get my money. - Still sort of true. I know what it is and contribute to it, but have no idea how to get my money.
23. I am deathly afraid of needles. - Still true!
24. Massages make me tense and I hate both giving and getting them - Still true!
25. Sometimes I eat pizza 4 days a week. - Not true, but I do eat it once a week still, but now it's made from scratch by me.
26. I've never called in sick because I was actually sick. - Still true!
27. I can't live without caller ID - Still true!
28. I refuse to buy anything from amazon.com because I think their "prime" program is elitist. I shouldn't have to be in a special club to get my stuff on time. - Still true!
29. I can't stand people who use "street talk". - Still true!
30. But I use the phrase "true that" way too often. - I don't really say this anymore actually.
31. Doctors scare me and I almost never go voluntarily. - Still true!
32. I don't handle disappointment well. - Still true!
33. I can function perfectly on no sleep for several days. - Still true!
34. I eat ice cream with a fork - Still true!
35. I've never played air hockey - Still true!
36. My grandfather taught me how to play cards and I almost never lose. - Still true!
37. Boys won't play cards with me because of it. - Still true!
38. I never answer the doorbell, even if I'm home (unless I'm expecting someone). - Still true!
39. I'm a neat freak, but I almost never make my bed. - Still true!
40. I hate sleeping alone. - Still true, but it's gotten easier.
41. Stupid-funny movies irritate me (anything with Jim Carey/Adam Sandler etc.) - Still true!
42. I hate staying in hotels. - Still partly true.
43. I keep my apartment very dark, I always have to remember to turn lights on when people come over. - Still true!
44. I hate carrying an umbrella, I would rather just get wet. - Still true!
45. Crooked pictures drive me crazy. I go around various restaurants, people's homes, libraries etc. straightening them. - Still true!
46. My wisdom teeth were supposed to be taken out 10 years ago, but I chickened out and just deal with the pain of teething. - I had them out successfully!
47. I went to my senior prom with some guy I met at Taco Bell. - Still true!
48. I will never set foot in another Taco Bell - Still true!
49. The only perfume I will wear is Romance by Ralph Lauren - Still true!
50. Gerber Daisies are my favorite flower. - Still true!
51. I've never gotten flowers from anyone...ever. - Still true!
52. I always read the sections of the paper in a specific order. If someone else is reading my next section, I wait. - Still true!
53. I get anxious if I don't know what time it is. - Still true!
54. It only takes me 15 minutes to get ready for work in the morning. - Still true!
55. I have "empty box syndrome". I almost always keep the box that things come in, so I have it when I move. - Still true!
56. I moved 6 times in my childhood. - Still true!
57. I have the same thing for breakfast almost every morning - Poptarts. - Not true at all. I have a bagel with peanut butter or I splurge on raspberry scone from Starbucks
58. In my lifetime I've had 3 dogs (only one at a time), Moon, Anton and Ginger. - Still true!
59. When I was in First Grade, my cousin used to drive me to school everyday in his Mustang. - Still true!
60. that was the last time I was ever "cool" - Still true!
61. That cousin and I have the same birth date May 13. - Still true!
62. I loathe Fox news and won't even be in the same room if it's on. - Still true!
63. I own over 300 books, and I've read all but 2 - Still true, though I'm pretty sure the number is closer to 500 now...
64. I read the White House press briefing transcripts...because I think they are funny. - Don't read them anymore. I miss Scott McClellan
65. I hate wearing shorts and don't even own a pair. - Still true!
66. All the keys on my keyring have to face the same direction. - Still true!
67. I do my taxes by hand, I'm too cheap to even use Turbo Tax. - Still true!
68. I refuse to ride the bus. - Still true!
69. All but 2 photographs up in my apartment, I took. - Still true!
70. I never tell people who come over that I took them. - I tell most people now.
71. Sometimes I type too fast for my computer and it takes a second for it to catch up. - Still true!
72. I love my label maker, everything in my house is obsessively labeled. - Still true!
73. If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life it would be tiramisu. - Still true!
74. I love putting the little check mark next to my completed tasks in Outlook. - Still true!
75. I own lots of beautiful jewelry, but never wear any of it because I hate looking "accessorized". - Still true!
76. The only thing I miss (aside from my friends) about living in the Midwest is central air conditioning . - Still true!
77. I am incapable of flirting. I once used a Lord of the Flies reference as a pick-up line. It didn't go over very well. - Still true!
78. I won't read certain books/magazines on the train because I don't want people to think I'm vacuous. - Still true!
79. I hate it when people use dinner and diner incorrectly in writing. - Still true!
80. I've only worked at two places my entire life. - Still true!
81. I am excellent at holding a grudge. - Still true!
82. I didn't vote for the first time until the 2004 election. - Still true!
83. My screen name (kaibigan) means friend in Tagalog. - Still true!
84. I hate shaking hands with people. - Still true!
85. My refrigerator contains nothing but Diet Dr. Pepper, ketchup and a jar of pickles. - Not true at all! I have all kinds of healthy foods in there now!
86. I don't have a take-out menu drawer, I have a take-out menu binder, separated into sections by cuisine type with each section in alphabetical order. - Still true!
87. I can't go anywhere without chapstick. - Still true!
88. People who automatically know where North/South/East/West are without using a compass intimidate me. - Still true!
89. I love a good snowball fight. - Still true!
90. Even though I don't use AOL anymore, I still pay for it. - Not true! I finally canceled it!
91. I like Pepsi better than Coke - Still true!
92. My favorite song is Winter by Tori Amos. - No longer true...I have many favorites now.
93. Ironing is very cathartic for me. - Still true!
94. My handwriting is all capital letters, a carryover from my days as a draftsperson. - Still true!
95. I absolutely hate having my picture taken. - Still true!
96. 6 months after getting my driver's license I backed into a friends car while she was in the passenger's seat next to me. The insurance company laughed at me. hard. - Still true!
97. I won't buy holidays versions of my favorite candy (with the exception of York peppermint "batties" at Halloween) because I don't like cutesy food. - Still true!
98. I couldn't swallow pills until I was 16. - Still true!
99. I thought I was a boring person until I filled this out. - Not true. I'm facinating! LOL
100. Thinking of 100 things about myself took me 4 days.

Whoa.

I'm on a conference call and all of a sudden I hear something weird on the other line and my person says. "Um I've got to go, we're having an earthquake!"

Talk about getting the news as it happens!

Hope you CA people are all safe!!!

Here's what I found out.....

My $ breakdown was pretty much as expected. Most of my money goes towards travel, which I knew, though I'm not sure I knew it was that high. Pretty much I'm not cutting out any one thing, but just going to scale back across the board.

Here's how it broke out:

Travel - 32.96%
Photo Business Expenses - 23.69%
Food - 15.32%
Bank Fees - 7.14% *now that I"m all paid up, this amount will go to 0%
Coffee - 6.18%
Entertainment - 5.86%
Misc/Personal Care - 4.67%
Home - 4.18%

Back on Track

Writing out my vows this weekend has really helped me focus and get out of my funk. Day 1 of the twitter weight loss challenge went great, and I also worked a bit on my finances. I am VERY proud to say that my credit card bill for this month was.....

$0.00.

I nearly fell off my chair. I logged into my account because I noticed they hadn't sent me an email with my statement for this month. Imagine my surprise when I realized that they hadn't emailed me my balance because my balance was ZERO! I'm not sure if I'll stay with my 100% cash system, but we'll see. Tonight I will be going through the last 2 months of credit card bills and really taking a hard look at where my money goes. I took a glance while I was printing the statements out and in the last 30 days I spent $125 at Starbucks, so there's a chunk of money that can (and WILL) be significantly reduced. I'll let you know what the rest of the breakdown is. I honestly have NO clue, so it will be fun to find out.

Fun? Ok that might be an overstatement...but still.