I like to think of myself as a practical person. I'm reasonable, rational. I put money in my 401k. I don't drink milk past its expiration date. I defragment my hard drive on a regular basis. Unfortunately there is one area in my life where the irrational wins and beats the practical side down and hides it in the tips of my toes. I absolutely can not bring myself to go to the Doctor. The mere thought of calling and making an appointment causes uncontrollable shaking and anxiety. Lately I've been having some potentially serious symptoms and the practical part of me knows it's time to make the call, yet I can't bring myself to do it. I think/hope that what I'm experiencing is related to my (15 year) delay in having my wisdom teeth removed, but I can't be sure and I know it's time to take action. I've searched online for treatments or possible solutions for this phobia, but they all of course involve actually going to the doctor, so it's a vicious cycle. I'm scared and I don't know what to do.
I wish the practical part of me could win this battle. I wish I was normal and could make an appointment and walk in like a normal person, minus the shaking and palpitations. I wish I had a support system out here, but I don't. Like all the other battles in my life I have to fight it alone and I'm afraid it's one I'm going to lose.