As my plane took off last night to come back to New York, I had tears in my eyes. I felt like a little kid who doesn't want to leave the park when mom says it's time to go. I had a great weekend, seeing friends, spending time outside (I forgot how much I missed grass and trees!) and having a car. I spent almost the entire day on Sunday outside in the sun, sitting in my friend Beth's backyard, drinking coffee, playing with her dog and chatting. It was so nice and it made me realize just how badly I want to start the next phase of my life out there.
When I go to Chicago I stay with a friend's brother (single and VERY cute, but 12 years older (which doesn't bother me, but I get the impression that he thinks of me as "young")) who has a lovely house in the suburbs. My friend was out of town this weekend, so I didn't get to really see him, but his brother is nice and lets me crash when I need to. I like these weekend visits I go on, it gives me an opportunity to play out my suburban housewife fantasies. Beautiful house/cute guy across the breakfast table/SUV in the driveway...at one point Single Cute Brother and I were having a conversation about the gardener who was working outside in the rain and I looked down at my left hand to see if I was married and in some bizarre parallel universe. I'm seriously considering propositioning Single Cute Brother and asking him if he wants a housewife. I'll cook, clean, put out whenever he wants.....a guy can't say no to that can he???? :-P
In all seriousness I'm just happier in Illinois. I have a support system, life is easier and overall much more peaceful. I absolutely don't regret moving to New York and everything I've accomplished here. Having a life out here was a lifelong dream and I'm happy I did it, but I'm ready to move on and fulfill some other dreams. I really need to step up the job hunt and actively start looking. I signed my NY lease for another year (but I can always easily sublet if I need to) so I'm giving myself a deadline of a year. After the year is up if I still haven't found a job I will most likely ask my parents if I can move in with them until I can find something. At least that will put me in the right state since I'm worried that long-distance job hunting is impossible. I'm not sure I can live with my parents again though, so everyone keep your finger's crossed that I find something before then!